A week ago a friend on a social network I use often (no, it’s not Facebook or Twitter) posted the following, prefaced by “Oh Lord, here we go again”:

“Okay pretty ladies,it’s that time of the year again….Support of Breast Cancer Awareness!!So we all remember last year’s game of writing your bra color as your status or the way we like to have our handbag handy?Last year,So many people took part that it made national news and the Constant Updating vstatus reminded everyone why were doing this and helped raised Awareness!!Do not tell any males….what thestatus mean…keep them guessing!!and please Copy and Paste (in a message)this to all your females friends. It’s time to confuse the men again (Its not really that hard to do)the idea is to choose the month you were born and the day you were born.(Pass this on the GIRLS ONLY!!and lets see how it reaches around.The last one about the bra went around all over the world.Your status should say “I am going to_________for__________months”. The day you were born should be for how many months you are going. Janauary-mexico February-London March-miami April-Dominican Republic May-france June-St.Petersburg July-Austria August-Germany September-New York October-Amster Dam November-Las Vegas December-Columbia”

I groaned as well when I read this, because I knew eventually this meme would hit someone within my group of Facebook friends and I’d be seeing this in my Messages. So far I haven’t seen it – but it’s only a matter of time.

I understand why these awareness memes started: it’s very easy to support a cause when all you have to do is copy and paste, or use an arbitrary algorithm (and I’m using the word “algorithm” very loosely here) to figure out what city you’re going to and for how many months. For me, this particular meme suggests I’ll be in London for 8 months, which sounds pretty fabulous, to be honest.

But the reality is that a cryptic, cutesy status update – or even a tweet – is not activism. Telling people what color your bra is or where you like to leave your purse doesn’t raise awareness of breast cancer. It merely confuses people. Social media confusion does not equal awareness; it equals irritation and unfriending and unfollowing.

Righteous – or even non-righteous – indignation over a dreaded disease, the poor and downtrodden masses, or even an abused puppy is common on the Internet. I get it. I get indignant too and I will share stories that particularly piss me off. What I’ve discovered, however, is that spreading those stories doesn’t make much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. What does make a difference is actively doing something to show my feelings about the issue.

So ladies, rather than tell me you’re going to France for 16 months, why not give a few bucks to the American Cancer Society or Susan G. Komen? Or if you’re low on funds, how about going to your local hospital and reading or playing games in the pediatric cancer ward? Or call the nearest hospice and volunteer to deliver a meal to the family of a woman with breast cancer, or babysit her kids while she’s at chemo? It doesn’t have to be complicated or costly. It just needs to come from your heart.

I can’t stop these silly memes or trends with one blog post, I know. But that doesn’t stop me from hoping we’ll move from passive support of issues and causes to more active support.

Technically, this bright orange feather wasn’t on the street. It was on my neighbor’s door mat. But it definitely qualifies as weird. And I must confess I am responsible for the feather being there.

For New Year’s Eve Ms. Chick & I went to a party where guests were encouraged to dress up a la Moulin Rouge. I pulled out a feather boa from my Halloween costume stash. Want to guess what color the boa is?

Those boas shed like crazy. So while it wasn’t surprising to find this feather on my neighbor’s door mat on January 3, it certainly was funny. And weird. Let’s not forget weird.

Note: I am cleaning up files on my laptop and found something I’d written for the blog back in December of 2008. As far as I can tell, I never posted it on the blog, and it still holds a lot of truth for me, so here you go. – Moxie

Tonight I had a conversation with a friend of mine about relationships. A mutual friend had broken up with someone because he’d gotten too serious too fast. “This is what happens when someone who’s never been in a long-term relationship gets involved with someone who has been in one,” my friend said. “The long-term person just wants to get back into that comfort zone.”

It really made me think about my own relationships and what I’d been doing, and maybe why nothing has really worked out since the end of my marriage. I had a great friendship with Mr. X and that’s the main thing I miss in not having a long term relationship: the close friendship portion. The part where you can just look at each other and know what the other person is thinking. The part where you have private jokes. Even the part where you know exactly what buttons to push so that the other person’s head explodes. I miss the good and the not-so-good parts of being friends with the one you love.

With Joe*, I was so quick to get back into that relationship groove that I completely lost sight of the fact that it takes time to build up the friendship element. You can’t forego that time period and expect the relationship to be something long lasting. I must have known, though, that deep down there wasn’t enough there for us to really be friends. We were way too different on way too many levels.

But sometimes I think it can go too far in the other direction, too. There are some friendships that are so strong that you start thinking, Hmm, maybe we should be dating. The romantic portion kicks in and while it’s nice and easy because you know the person so well, it’s also – how do I put this – dull. So then what do you do? Do you give up the romantic/sexual element, knowing full well it may sacrifice the friendship? Or do you continue with it, thinking it will eventually work out? I’ve been in that situation a few times and it never seems to work the way I want it to, or the way I think it should.

This all leads me to believe there’s a happy medium, a place where you have a good friendship yet you know when to detach. I’m good friends with one couple who seems to do this so easily, and yet I have a feeling they have struggled to get to this place with each other. Their comfort zone is palpable to all of us that know them and it gives me hope that I can create that, somehow, someday, with someone who’s really ready to get in the zone with me.

*The man I was with in 2007. The relationship ended horribly.

For those of you unfamiliar with this feature, every December for the past few years I have made resolutions – not for myself, mind you, but for others who may not be aware of their shortcomings or challenges in a particular area. Without further ado, here’s this year’s list, in no particular order of importance.

1. Start using the area code when giving out phone numbers (Sacramentans)

I love this town, I really do. But y’all need to start accepting the fact that it’s the 21st century and we now have to dial the area code before the 7-digit number. Furthermore, some of us bring our mobile numbers from other areas with us when we move to Sacto, and we’re not going to assume that every number is in the 916 area code. And please refrain from getting hostile when asked for the area code. Thanks ever so much.

2. Avoid references to myself when supporting someone who is grieving (everyone)

If you’ve ever lost a loved one you recognize this syndrome. It’s when someone says “I am sorry for your loss,” then instead of stopping there they add, “My dad/uncle/great grandma/pet lizard/favorite ficus died recently.” We are all hurting on some level. But when someone’s grief is very fresh and raw, the last thing they need and want to hear is about your suffering and grief. Set it aside for a moment and focus on them.

3. Stop biting the iPhone cord and any other cords I come across around the apartment (Rooney Jackson)

This means you, kitty.

4. Add a store to downtown Sacramento (Trader Joe’s, Container Store)

Downtown Sacramento needs to amp things up, shopping-wise, and I think a Trader Joe’s AND a Container Store would do the trick. There are plenty of vacant retail spaces. And I’m sure you’ll get a sweet deal from the city to move in. C’mon, whaddya say?

5. Focus on helping people create & sustain successful marriages and less on trainwreck weddings and bridal parties from hell (media)

Yes, there’s a lot of entertainment value in weddings, bridezillas and all the wedding accouterments. It’s shiny and chaotic and hard to look away. But society has lost sight of the bigger picture, which is that a marriage is supposed to, by design, last much longer than a wedding. As usual, I blame the media for this problem. How about we start helping people understand what it takes to make a marriage work? If that means a reality show about couples counseling/premarital counseling, okay, I can be with that. But please, no more wedding shows.

6. Let Moxie organize my kitchen (Giles)

Giles has this great kitchen with lots of cabinet space, but he isn’t taking full advantage of it. He also keeps moving the grater and the measuring cup and that makes me loopy, because just when I think I’ve opened the correct drawer, it’s not there. If he would just let me organize the kitchen, life would be so much better for everyone. There would also be world peace. I’m just saying.

7. Give up on the whole McCafe thing and focus on serving good food (McDonald’s)

To be fair, I don’t think I’ve had a coffee-esque beverage from McDonald’s since they went all McStarbucks. And I understand wanting to keep up with the competition. I know Starbucks, and you, Ronald McDonald, are no Starbucks. You will never be Starbucks. So let’s cut the crap and go back to making burgers, fries, chicken nuggets and Happy Meals, ‘kay?

8. Make autocorrect smarter, more like T9 was back in the day (texting software programmers)

Now that I’ve transitioned to an Android phone, I don’t have the autocorrect issue so much anymore, for which I am grateful. And if it wasn’t for autocorrect we wouldn’t have such a hilarious website as Damn You Autocorrect.  The truth is there’s no reason why texting software can’t be made smarter. Remember T9 and how you could train it to know your word/phrase preferences? Can’t there be texting software like that?

9. Tone down the snarkitude and turn up the positivity (Ms. Chick)

Near the beginning of this year I met Ms. Chick, an attractive, funny blogger here in town. I want to see her happy, but sometimes I think she is committed to being unhappy and cynical about everything. I’m calling her out on the blog not to publicly shame her, but to let her know via the interwebs that I think she is awesome and that if she stopped broadcasting all the negativity and snark, she would have a much richer, happier experience of the world.

10. Stop donating to groups that have an anti-gay platform (Chick-Fil-A)

Isn’t there a way the Chick-Fil-A people can donate to faith-based causes without donating to ones that are more about hate than love? Because a Chick-Fil-A chicken sammich is all about love. So are waffle fries.

This week’s wackiness gives you an opportunity to get your frustrations out on your computer without actually doing any permanent damage. Once you load this site, click anywhere on the screen to start breaking it, complete with sound effects.

Well, for those familiar with Baltimore suburbs, anyway.

Years ago, 98Rock in Baltimore created a twisted tune, “Essex Wonderland”, that captures holiday life in the suburb of Essex. When I lived in Maryland and this song would play on the radio I could not stop laughing. It captures the Baltimore (pronounced Ballmer) accent and attitude so perfectly.

For years I’ve wanted to get a copy of this song…and now I have, thanks to the power of the Internet. God bless technology.

Enjoy, hon.

Essex Wonderland

In 2002-2003, I became friendly with the members of a L.A. based all-girl rock band, Goddess Freak Ensemble. Like any band, the group went through some changes in guitarists and bassists. Through each change they continued to make beautiful music while showcasing their sexy, sassy selves. But when they briefly worked with Ainjel Emme, it was mind-blowing. Her mad skills on the guitar are evenly matched by her amazing voice, which is wistful and sly and sad and wise all at once.

A couple of months ago I started thinking about Ainjel again and decided to track her down on Facebook. Sure enough, she’s got her own page and frequently posts links to videos and songs. When I heard some of the stuff she’s been working on recently, I was once again blown away. Knowing how Giles feels about his lady singers (I call them his sirens), I had him take a listen. His face lit up at the first few notes.

I don’t want to even try comparing her music to anyone else, she’s that phenomenal, but I will say this: if you love great music, and you love hearing women sing and play guitar, give Ainjel a listen. Go buy her music. And then tell a friend.

To whet your appetite, here’s Ainjel doing a cover of The Smiths “Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want”. Check out other performances on her YouTube channel.

Those of you who were beyond the zygote stage in the 70s may remember the turkey drop episode of popular late 70s sitcom “WKRP in Cincinnati”. This Thanksgiving I’m seeing people post clips from this episode all over the interwebs. I found the entire episode on Hulu, so while you’re sitting around debating whether or not you really want that third piece of pie, you can watch Les Nessman deal with his turkey-drop-induced PTSD.

I haven’t done Wednesday’s Wackiness for a long time. I’m sure you’ve all missed it terribly, right?

This week’s wacky comes from a Smithsonian collection of 1950s photographs taken underwater by Bruce Mozert, a pioneer in underwater photography. What makes these photos so wacky is that Mozert recreated above-water activities, such as barbecuing, reading the newspaper, and – one of my favorites – talking on the phone.

If you really dig these photos, be sure to look for Gary Monroe’s book, The Underwater Photography of Bruce Mozert.

Several months back I was in San Francisco and I saw this sign posted at a stall inside the Ferry Building. I don’t think the person who came up with this sign carefully considered how it would read to passerby, especially those who are word nerds. *coughMoxiecough*

Mmm, lard pie! Wait, what?