Another long, busy day. Some moments of anxiety and the corresponding moments of depression, but the busyness of the day meant I didn’t dwell on those moments for too long. Made some chili in the Crock Pot that turned out great – a good home-cooked meal, along with some nice wine, always soothes my soul. Last night an old friend invited me to Thanksgiving at her house, too, and the good vibes from that conversation also resonate today. I didn’t feel super fantastic, but I also felt better than a 5, so I’d say today was a 7 out of 10.
Since the last 2 days were spent at the DMV, today was a catch-up day: client work, grocery shopping, laundry. In the morning, I had some nasty anxiety pop up related to finances (yet again), so I meditated using Wayne Dyer’s Meditations for Manifestation, which usually helps me shift my focus. Combined with my litany of affirmations, I feel I have some decent tools to combat the anxiety and depression that crops up. Today was a 5 out of 10.
Another long day dealing with the DMV, including an unexpected trip to another DMV office because the first one was having computer issues and couldn’t access the information necessary to register my car. But it’s all done now and I won’t have to deal with it again for another 2 years.
My anxiety went up as the day wore on, again related to money matters. Not having the time to pursue business leads or apply for jobs because I’m stuck in lines is frustrating and stresses me out. I think there is a part of me that likes the heightened stress/anxiety because I seem to put myself in these situations so often. I need to knock it out.
Today had some lows and highs, but all in all I’d say it was a 5 out of 10.
Today was a long day of dealing with lines and forms and paperwork. Spent over an hour at the DMV getting my driver’s license, then spent another 30 minutes or so getting auto insurance. It wasn’t horrendous – the woman at the DMV gave me some unexpected good news, but I won’t find out until tomorrow if the information she gave me was correct. Oh yes, I have to go back tomorrow. I know how to party.
While the day was long and involved way more driving than I anticipated, I didn’t experience too much stress, anxiety or depression. Still having some financial anxiety and doing my best to keep it at bay. I’m using several new affirmations I picked up from the Louise Hay documentary, and they are helping bolster the ones on my regular rotation. Today was a 7 out of 10.
Lazy day. Stayed up late watching a fantastic, inspiring documentary about Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life, and got up early because the cats were out of dry food and acting like they were starving to death. After breakfast at Starbucks and a pet store run, I stopped by the farmers market to check it out. I found some good local produce and chatted with a local coffee roaster, which made me very happy as now I can get beans for my French press. Does that make me a coffee snob? Long surprise nap this afternoon with the cats meant I didn’t get to some of the tasks I’d hoped to today, but it wasn’t anything incredibly pressing. All in all, a relaxed, lazy Sunday that left me feeling good. A few moments of anxiety but I combatted them with affirmations and breathing. Today was an 8 out of 10.
The word for today was serendipity. Much needed funds arrived, I got a letter from a pen pal I hadn’t heard from in a while, and on the way into DC I met a young woman visiting from Paris, which meant I could try out my French skills a little (I understand much better than I speak). She was heading to the Air & Space Museum and I offered her my extra ticket for the new African American History Museum, which she happily accepted. We had a nice time chatting and checking out the museum, but we got separated in the crowds before we exchanged contact information, and I looked for her and waited a little while, but didn’t see her again. I’m still bummed about that, but it’s possible we could reconnect – I did get her full name and I’ve tried googling her, without much luck, and she got my full name. It sounds a lot like the heterosexual version of Serendipity, the movie with John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale.
What’s funny is that if we hadn’t gotten separated, I would have never wound up in a hotel off Pennsylvania Avenue, where an event I’d wanted to check out was happening. This was unplanned, as I didn’t originally look to see where the event was held – I managed to be in the right place getting a decaf Americano at the right time, when I saw people wearing badges for the event. I arrived right when their social hour was taking place, so I stopped in – okay, okay, I crashed it – and looked for someone I know who was attending. I couldn’t find her, but instead I found two potential clients and a very interesting array of attendees in Regency costume.
All these things combined made for an amusing day, and I keep laughing when I think about the chain of events. The universe has a great sense of humor. Today is a 9 out of 10.
Today was a little better. Even though I’m still stressed about money matters, I know they will turn around soon, and my depression doesn’t overwhelm me – it’s just buzzing in the background. I felt restless this morning and couldn’t settle myself enough to do much work, so I went to Starbucks, got some tea and a sandwich and wrote letters. I need to find a nearby park where I can go for walks and meditate when the weather is pleasant. Today is a 6 out of 10.
Today has been better. Had work projects to keep my mind occupied and some quiet time on the back porch, including cat cuddles, eased the stress and anxiety on the fringes of my brain. Today is a 5 out of 10.
Woke up on the late side this morning, but got to work on a couple tasks that distracted me from my anxiety and then did some journaling that gave me much needed clarity about some of my bigger issues regarding self-worth, validation and self-assessment. After that, I felt confident enough to negotiate some deals and the end result lead me to a much calmer state of mind.
Rooney was my buddy for part of the afternoon, so I decided to include him in today’s selfie. Today started at a 3 and got up to a 5.
This is what it looks like when you get up late because you don’t want to deal with anyone, but you shower, put on makeup and do your hair because you are supposed to go to an event tonight that you’ve been anticipating for months, then you find out the financial hole you’re in just got even deeper and you see no way out of it and you start crying so hard you cannot breathe, but you still try not to mess up your makeup too much because you might feel better enough to go in a few hours.
This is depression and anxiety, folks. Today started at 4 and is now down to 2.