Did Anyone Get the Number of That Truck?

I am sore all over and I blame the boot camp workout I did yesterday. The instructor, Abby, had us doing 5 minutes of squats. FIVE MINUTES. To encourage us to keep going with the exercise, she said, “When you’re 85 you’re gonna be able to go to the bathroom on your own. You might not be able to go tomorrow, but you will when you’re 85.” The muscles in my quads, abs and shoulders are all screaming at me for yesterday’s torture session. I have done nothing but lay around and wish a massage therapist named Sven with big hands and a sullen disposition would knock on my door, carrying a massage table and a note reading, “Your one hour massage session and Sven’s tip have been taken care of. Thanks for voting, Governor-elect Jerry Brown.”