Author Archives: Corinne

Mindy, We Are So Over

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Turns out most of my blog traffic lately has been due to my post on Mindy Kaling and the Hermès Birkin bag sighting on her show. I find it rather amusing, but also interesting that people are trying to find out more about the bag.

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen my rants about the second Birkin bag Mindy was carting around. (I’ve posted the tweets below, since it’s been a while.)

 

The second Birkin was a lovely shade of geranium pink (not a true red, as it were) and it goes for 16,999 here.

Then there were three.

The third Hermès Birkin bag, according to the folks over at Createurs de Luxe, is valued at over $22,750.

Photo courtesy Hermes Purse Forum

It was after this third bag that I decided to stop watching this show. I couldn’t even make it to the season finale this past week, which according to a couple TV pundits & bloggers was quite good.

But I have tapped out. All because of three expensive handbags.

Now, to be clear, I don’t have a problem with Hermès, or the Birkin bag. I think they are gorgeous and lovely, and if I had the income that allowed me to purchase one without having to live in my car for a year three years, I would totally do it. My problem is with the production team for “The Mindy Project” and Mindy herself for having this character lug around $56,748 (according to my math) in purses. It requires a major suspension of disbelief that I’m unwilling to do.

If you watched “Sex and the City” you may remember the Season 4 episode “Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda” where Samantha (Kim Cattrall) uses client Lucy Liu’s name as a way to get herself bumped up on the waiting list at Hermès for a Birkin. That was believable. And I’m willing to give Mindy the luxury of one Birkin bag – the initial Bleu Jean Leather Birkin, to be exact. I can find it believable that a female OB-GYN in Manhattan would have one mega-expensive handbag in her accessory repertoire. But for a character to lug around three different Birkin bags in the course of one season, without any other female character making a comment or wisecrack about the purses, is highly suspect to me.

What’s interesting is that the folks over at Hermès Purse Forum don’t know if the bags belong to Mindy or if they are on loan from a production company. Not sure if the company would tell them, or anyone else for that matter, if the bags belong to Mindy. And if they do belong to Ms. Kaling, it’s time to keep the bags off the show and on her arm in tabloid photos, where they belong. From what I’ve read, Dr. Mindy Lahiri, her character on the show, is supposedly going to Haiti, where, for the cost of just one Birkin bag, you could feed the entire country for a month.

So that’s it for us, Mindy. We’re over. Maybe, in time, we’ll look back on this period in our lives and laugh about how silly it was for me to get hung up on some expensive purse. But for now, it’s best we part. And when I sell my novel and can buy a Birkin of my very own, I promise to consult you first.

 

Are You Happy Now?

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I have a confession to make to all the people I know who recently got engaged, married, fell in love, moved in with someone, lost weight, got a new job, got a promotion, bought a house, car, or a major appliance.

I’m not happy for you. Any of you.

And the truth is, I haven’t been happy about anything good that’s happened for you for a long time.

I have tried to dredge up some happiness, though. Believe me, I have tried. The sad truth is that time and experience and my current state of mind has jaded me to the point that when I attempt to conjure up true joy for someone else’s bliss, all I hear are platitudes and shallow well-wishes coming from my lips. My brain is so full of snark and sarcasm that when I see social media posts from people about the awesomeness of their loved one, or how things are going so well in their relationship, or how much they love their new job or body or couch, I avoid saying anything in response because I know all that vitriol will ooze out of my cerebellum and into my fingers as I’m typing.

I hate that this is true. I hate that I am taking more joy in the stories when someone is miserable than when someone is actually happy and achieving their goals and dreams. Because I have not always been like this.

I can accept the fact that I have major narcissistic tendencies. I’m fully aware of my weaknesses. I’m very good at self-flagellation for any and all times when I’ve said the wrong thing, didn’t say the right thing, did or didn’t do something that would ease someone else’s suffering. I’ve worked hard at being kind and compassionate, because that doesn’t always come easily to me.

But this inability to exalt others is tough. It eats away at me. And it increases those feelings of wrongness.

I have been trying to get to the heart of why I feel this way. A line from “Desiderata” gave me some insight:

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve compared myself to others, whether it’s in terms of possessions, physical appearance, wealth, relationship status, or education. The compare/contrast tactic is ultimately a weapon of self-destruction. I’m working on being aware of when I’m doing this, and refocusing my attention on finding my happy place: a place that isn’t contingent on what I look like or how much money I make; a place where I want the best of everything for those I love. But the path to my happy place isn’t always easy to find, and even when I do find the path and actually get there, sometimes I wake up and discover I’m back in the not-so-happy place.

So if you don’t see me clicking Like on your Facebook post, or sending you congratulations, it’s because I’m still working on getting – and staying – in my happy place. And once I get there, I promise to send you a postcard.

 

Swedish Pop Music Has Taken Over My Brain

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A couple days ago Giles convinced me to watch The Trip, a 2011 film with Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon. Coogan is on assignment for The Observer to visit several well-renowned restaurants throughout the UK, and when his girlfriend backs out at the last minute, he asks his friend Brydon to come along. The movie is very funny and the pair do several impressions of actors including Michael Caine, Sean Connery and Woody Allen, but it was their singalong of ABBA’s “The Winner Takes It All” that did me in.

Later that night I was up until 3 in the morning listening to ABBA songs. THREE A.M. It’s not like all their songs were fantastic, either. If you pay attention to the lyrics many of them don’t make much sense. It’s the melodies that suck you in – they are catchy. Momcat had several ABBA singles on 45s that she enjoyed.

What’s worse are the videos. Dear God, the videos.

There’s a clear formula to most ABBA videos:

1. Show the band members performing some activity together, such as eating, drinking, playing a board game.

2. Alternate between showing Agnetha and Frida singing, their faces wracked with emotion and longing for Bjorn and Benny.

3. Alternate between shots of Bjorn and Benny looking suggestively at the camera, their faces wracked with cool Swedish reserve toward their beloveds.

4. Alternate between shots of all four band members singing, looking happy.

5. Alternate between shots of Agnetha, Frida, Bjorn and Benny walking away from the camera, only to turn and look back as if to say, “You miss me, right? I know you do. I KNOW YOU WANT TO GET WITH THIS. But you blew it.” (This would all be said in Swedish, of course.)

6. Some camera tricks that reflect the latest in mid 70s-early 80s cinematography, such as morphing faces into each other, mirror images, etc.

My favorite example is the video for “When All Is Said and Done,” which came out in 1981. I think I have this song on an old K-Tel album.

Now it seems I’ve gotten more into ABBA than I anticipated. I can’t stop listening to their songs on Spotify, or looking at videos on their VEVO channel. I have fallen down the rabbit hole and wound up in Stockholm. Any minute now Steve the Mighty ‘Mo is going to bang on our shared wall and tell me to turn down “Waterloo.” Though this is really all Giles’ fault. Him and Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon. Damn them all.

Mercury Retrograde in Pisces: It’s the Most Frustrating Time of the Year

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Connection speeds got you down?
Your bus or train running behind schedule?
Mobile phone, laptop, or other electronic device not working right?

Welcome to Mercury retrograde, my friends.

Long time readers of GWM have likely read previous posts I’ve written about Mercury retrograde, an astrological phenomenon that happens about 3 times a year. To understand this occurrence, and why some folks get so frustrated when Mercury is retrograde, I’ll provide some background.

Mercury, Greek, mythology, Hermes

Artistic rendering of Mercury (Hermes), the messenger of the gods in Greek & Roman mythology. Image courtesy elfinspell.com

Mercury (also known as Hermes) was the messenger of the gods in Greek & Roman mythology. He had a wicked sense of humor and loved to play tricks. In astrology, the planet Mercury rules all forms of communication. This includes e-mail, faxes, Internet, phones, text messages and snail mail. Mercury also rules transportation: planes, trains, automobiles, even bicycles and scooters. On a more abstract level, Mercury rules thoughts, concepts and ideas.

In astrology, the term retrograde means that a planet appears to be moving backwards through the signs of the zodiac. All planets except the Sun and Moon have retrograde cycles, and these retrograde cycles tend to trigger areas that need special attention. I found this explanation from Dwight Ennis to be particularly helpful:

Astrologically, a retrograde planet is symbolically retracing ground that has already been covered. Wherever one finds a retrograde planet, it seems to indicate a need to internalize that planet’s energies, come to terms with them, and “own” them.

When Mercury is retrograde, communication can get all screwed up. Websites go down for no apparent reason. Social media becomes unpredictable, with real-time updates & feeds not working the way they should. Electronic devices lose power or break down completely. Travel can be wonky as well: traffic might be much worse on the freeway, flights are delayed or cancelled, and you might have car problems.

The unpredictability of Mercury retrograde can manifest in other surprising ways. Whenever a major awards ceremony takes place during Mercury retrograde, such as this year’s Academy Awards, I’m always interested to see what happens, because the favorite in any category can end up not winning. This year’s results didn’t disappoint in that regard, with Argo taking Best Picture, Ang Lee winning Best Director for Life of Pi, and Christoph Waltz getting the Best Supporting Actor award for his work in Django Unchained – when none of them were seen as the favorites by many pundits.

On February 23, Mercury went retrograde in the sign of Pisces, which rules intuition, imagination, compassion, and understanding. Pisces also rules large bodies of water and water pipes. During the Oscars, I found this tweet which perfectly describes the wackiness of Mercury retrograde in Pisces.

Twitter, tweet, Mercury retrograde, Mercury, retrograde, Pisces, Oscars, Academy Awards

I like to think that Mercury finds all of the delays and communication breakdowns and surprises amusing. He’s a trickster, after all. But that doesn’t help when you’re waiting on a call about a job or your car won’t start. The good part is that Mercury retrograde cycles don’t last very long; the most intense portion of the cycle goes on for 20-24 days. It’s enough time to make you loopy, but not so long that you lose all hope of ever having a working Internet connection again.

It may help to think of Mercury retrograde cycles as a time to re-engage with areas of your life that have been neglected. Our world spins so fast these days (figuratively speaking) that it can be difficult to find the time to take on those tasks we’ve been putting off for a while. Personally, I’ve been using this Mercury retrograde period to take a look at old projects and determine if I am interested enough to revive them, and I’m re-organizing my stuff and weeding out items I no longer need. Notice all the “re” words? That’s because retrograde cycles are good for “re” activities: revise, reassess, review…you get the idea.

While searching online for current pieces on Mercury retrograde, I came across this piece from 2010 that resonated with me. As someone whose ruling planet is Mercury (I’m a Gemini rising), I often struggle to find the good during Mercury’s retrograde periods. The excerpt below gave me some food for thought:

Mercury Retrograde is a time to lay off the caffeine-powered Mercury engines of our lives and find something else–stillness, Athena, Jupiter, anybody but Hermes/Mercury. And this is what could be filling us with dread as we think of Mercury receding away from us. We’ve come to depend so much on him that we can’t picture him moving away from us…We don’t use it as a time to reflect on our attachment to our computers, our phones, our social networking accounts, our blogs, or even ways of communicating, whether electronically or not. It doesn’t mean that we have to cut off Mercury or Mercury related concerns entirely, even if that were possible.

It means that we can give space to other dimensions of Mercury through other “gods” or principles, like looking at the beauty of our handwriting, which is more of a Venus/Jupiter concern. (Yes, when was the last time you looked at your writing script? Have you ever pushed to develop or improve it, especially since writing in script is becoming a dying art?) Or does a recent argument with a friend highlight how you might not listen as well as you think you do? Or do you speak more forcefully, with too much Mars, than you might think or would like? Similarly, are you being as serious about your communication or your spoken commitments as you could, which is to evoke more Saturn? Or how are you evoking Athena (strategy) and wisdom on your job?

So while I referred to Mercury retrograde as being the most frustrating time of the year in the post title, it really doesn’t have to be. And if I keep telling myself this, eventually I will believe it. In the meantime, I’m counting down the days until March 17, when Mercury goes direct. Only 13 more to go…

Felines for Hire, Inquire Within

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I just read this AP article that says Americans spent over $53 billion on their pets last year. That’s a lot of Alpo and Meow Mix. What’s stunning is that this amount isn’t radically higher than what Americans spent in 2011 for their furry companions.


That’s up 5 percent from 2011, when spending first broke the $50 billion barrier, says the American Pet Products Association, a trade group based in Greenwich, Conn. And APPA President and CEO Bob Vetere predicts another 4 percent gain this year.

At about $34.3 billion, food and vet care represented about two-thirds of total spending, with money spent on supplies and over-the-counter medications rising by more than 7 percent.

Since I use Mint.com to track my spending, I decided to see how much I contributed to that $53 billion.

Less than 20% of my total pet spending in 2012 was on vet bills. The rest was food and cat litter.
Sounds like two cats I know need to find gainful employment.

Enjoy yourselves now, but tomorrow, you’re gonna be getting jobs.

Puppet Show

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While looking for old tax paperwork on my hard drive, I started poking around to see what other files I had floating around on the computer. I found this video I made back in 2009.

Some backstory: A couple months after Momcat died, my friend & I were cleaning out a corner of the basement and discovered several large plastic trash cans full of my childhood clothes. There was a lot of ugly 70s plaid in there: pants, jumpers, dresses. A couple handknit ponchos. And some bright yellow tights. It was not pretty.

But when I found these gloves I got all excited. I remember wearing them as a kid and how fun it was to pretend each finger was a different character.

So, ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to present…a completely ridiculous puppet show starring Moxie and her childhood gloves. Save all applause and questions for the end.

Moxie and the Mighty ‘Mo

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Several years ago I wrote this post about being in need of a ‘mo, also known as a homosexual friend. Brief recap: I had been encouraged to find a ‘mo by someone I met at a college alumni gathering, the idea being that this ‘mo would impart wisdom and be there to support me when I’m having a meltdown at 3 a.m. I didn’t try all that hard to find one while living in SoCal, which may explain some of my poor choices in relationships and footwear.

Nearly 7 years later, I am very happy to report that I have found a ‘mo: my neighbor, Steve.* He moved in a few months ago along with his dog, Daisy*. I liked Steve the minute I met him, and the fact that we were able to have friendly, positive conversations right from the start – even when it had to do with Daisy’s barking (she’s since quieted down and has become a canine pal to me and my cats – well, Ippie, anyway) – was surely a good sign.

The more we talked the more I felt like Steve could be my ‘mo. We would have long text message conversations where we bitched about the Clydesdales, a.k.a. the women who live in the corner apartment and clomp by our apartments at all hours like it’s a runway and they are in heavy platform shoes. We talked about Steve’s decision to go vegan and I told him about a few locals I know who are big on the vegan scene. Lots of fun gossip, lots of potential bonding.

But I didn’t want to rush anything. “I think I have a ‘mo now,” I told Giles. “That’s awesome!” he said. I don’t know that he really understood my need for a ‘mo, but he is an empathetic kind of guy, so he says things like this.

Last weekend Steve & I went for coffee and I decided to pop the question.

“So, a long time ago I wrote this blog post about being in need of a ‘mo.” I started.

“What’s a ‘mo?” said Steve. I was concerned this did not bode well, but I pressed on.

“It’s a homosexual friend who will impart wisdom,” I said, quoting directly from the original post.

“I have never heard that term before,” said Steve.

“Apparently it’s a thing in SoCal.”

“Well, I’d be happy to be your ‘mo, but just to forewarn you, I am not the stereotypical homosexual.”

I jumped up and down. “That’s fine. You just need to impart wisdom. Can you do that?”

“I think so.”

Since then there’s been more gossiping, discussion about the hotness of actors in Magic Mike, the beauty of Matt Bomer, Sacramento life, and food. But my favorite conversation so far was talking a little about Tarot.

“What’s your favorite card?” said Steve.

“The Magician.” It’s all about manifestation and owning your power, so I dig it. “What’s yours?”

“The King of Pentacles.” Great choice – he’s all about practicality, wealth, stability.

I smiled. “I’d like a King of Pentacles.”

He laughed. “Girl, me too!”

Yeah, Steve is the best ‘mo ever.

 

Joe Manganiello (2nd from right), you can be my King of Pentacles anytime.

Moxie’s Resolutions for Everyone Else: The 2013 Edition

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It’s that time of year when a young girl’s fancy thirty-five-ish blogger’s rants lightly turn to thoughts of who or what is most in need of New Year’s resolutions. For those who are playing at home, this is the fifth year I’ve written resolutions for others. It’s much more satisfying than writing them for myself. Let’s get to it, shall we?

1. Come up with a universal system for describing toothpaste flavors (toothpaste manufacturers).

I’m talking to you, Crest and Colgate. What the hell does Fresh Mint and Clean Mint mean? And Smooth Mint, what is that? Whatever happened to spearmint and peppermint and wintergreen? I can never remember which stupid mint name refers to wintergreen and every freakin’ time I wind up with damn wintergreen flavored toothpaste which makes me want to gag. ENOUGH.

2. Figure out a really awesome live streaming solution for the next Olympic Games (NBC).

It’s not like we are living in 1984 with monochrome monitors and dial-up modems that make that freaky ring sound. We have video-on-demand, DVRs, Hulu, Netflix, smartphones, YouTube…need I continue? NBC, you blew it big time with the taped delay BS during the Summer Olympics. You have all sorts of money, NBC, and you have a little over a year before the Winter Olympics 2014 start. How about creating on-demand channels where people can watch as many different sports as they want in real time. And you might make even more money that way.

3. Stop expecting privacy when it relates to social media and the Internet (everyone).

I originally started this blog so I could rant & rave with some level of anonymity. Things have changed dramatically since then, and I’m not as anonymous as I used to be. Maybe that’s why I get so frustrated with people who use social networks and expect their identity to remain secret. If you need to have that much privacy, then you need to not be online.

4. Declare a moratorium on flavored vodka (DISCUS).

I don’t know that the Distilled Spirits Council of America really has this authority, but it would be nice to see all these crazy ads for flavored vodka go away. Iced Caramel? Marshmallow? Cupcake?! If you can’t drink liquor that doesn’t taste like candy, then you should not be drinking alcohol. Now where’s that waiter with my martini?

5. Legalize performance-enhancing drugs for use in professional sports (MLB, NBA, NFL, and other professional sports leagues).

It’s happening so often now that it’s become a joke: formerly average player becomes a super player, he/she is tested for performance enhancing drugs, the test is positive, the player is fined/suspended/censured/stripped of any awards. And it’s not going to stop happening, because players want to keep getting high salaries and they do that through outstanding performances on the field/court/track. So how about all you league commissioners and head-level mucky-mucks just legalize this stuff already?

6. Fix the algorithm that determines what constitutes a “Life Event” (Facebook).

My second cousin’s comment on their best friend’s new baby – neither of whom I know personally or have friended on Facebook – does not constitute a Life Event. Neither do the following: a Like on a cartoon, a reposting of yet another photo meme from some Page called LOL All Day Long or some crap, or anything that contains the phrase “repost if you agree.” Fix this shit already, Zuck. I’ve had enough.

7. Shorten the length of all skits (Saturday Night Live).

I don’t watch “Saturday Night Live” very often, but when I do, it’s with Giles, and we’ve both noticed that the skits go way longer than they should. I understand that I am not their target audience (read: drunk or stoned twentysomethings who came home from the bar too early), but from what my younger, former stoner more hip & trendy cousins tell me, the skits aren’t funny to them, either. You have some talented comedians and writers on the show, Lorne, let them shine. And no more variety show-type skits, either. That was funny maybe twice, then it got very old.

8. Develop new OS that makes more efficient use of storage space (Android).

I’ve had an Android phone for over a year now, and as a big user of Gmail, Google Calendar, and Google Apps, I like the seamless integration. But what pisses me off to no end is that damn icon that pops up to say “Disk space is low” on my phone. I have deleted so many apps because my phone can’t handle it. Sadly, it’s not just my inexpensive little LG Optimus V, either – it’s an Android problem. This storage issue never came up with my iPhone. I don’t know if you got the press release, but you’re GOOGLE, dammit. You can FIX THIS.

9. Leave the photos on the wall alone (Rooney and Ippie).

I did not hang items on the wall so you two could play with them, or practice your interior decorating skills. You’re both lucky you’re cute.

Someone knocked over the photo of Momcat and Pops? Wasn’t us. We’ve been here the WHOLE time. Honest.

10. Be willing to speak up or act if something doesn’t seem right (everyone).

Not long after the Newtown school shooting, I posted the following on the GWM Facebook Page. It pretty much sums up my feelings about the situation, and why Resolution #10 is necessary.

We can all agree that what happened in Connecticut is a tragedy. What we can’t seem to agree on is why. I’ve read some posts that say it’s because God isn’t present in the schools. I’ve read others say it’s because there is too much violence in the media. Still others claim it’s lax gun laws, and yet another faction says it has to do with mentally unstable folks not getting proper treatment. The solutions are just as varied.

I don’t claim to know everything, but I do know one thing from years of personal experience: going with your intuition, your gut instinct, rarely proves itself wrong. This means reaching out to someone if you feel they need a friend to listen. It means calling law enforcement if someone you know is saying or doing things that indicate they are unwell and may cause harm to themselves or others. It means being present in the moment and letting that small voice inside speak to our hearts and guide us toward the right action, even if it doesn’t seem right at the time.

Here’s to living in the now, loving each other, and lifting up those who are in need.

 

Have any resolutions for anyone else that you’d like to share?

You Can’t Fool Me, Mindy Kaling

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Last week I was catching up on my stories, by which I mean going through the shows in my Hulu queue and watching them. One of those stories shows is “The Mindy Project”, starring the fabulously funny Mindy Kaling. I was the one person in America who did not watch “The Office” (TV is supposed to be an escape from reality and “The Office” was never that for me), but I liked her. I may be biased because my cousin Susie* looks like her. So much like Mindy, in fact, that people have called her Mindy on the street and had their picture taken with her and asked for her autograph. I could be making that last part up. But I think she told me that once. In any event it’s a good story. (Update: Susie confirms this has actually happened on several occasions.)

Back to my point. I was watching Episode 2, titled “Hiring and Firing.” It starts with Mindy riding the New York subway with her colleague. She’s carrying a beautiful blue handbag, which in and of itself wouldn’t have been a problem if I hadn’t known what kind of bag it was.

It was a Hermes Birkin bag.

Some of you savvy fashionista types will not need to read the next two paragraphs, because you know all about this handbag. For those of you who are unaware of the value or significance of this bag, please continue.

Now I’ve only seen a Birkin once before in the wild, and it was a long time ago. (Oddly enough, it’s been almost exactly 7 years.) You don’t see these bags on the arm of just anyone, mind you. That’s because they are expensive. And when I say expensive, I mean you could buy a 2012 Honda Civic LX with a few nice options for just about the same price. I know this because I just went on Honda’s website and priced a 2012 Honda Civic Coupe LX.

Honda, Civic, car

The car I could buy for the same price as Mindy Kaling’s handbag. Nice, isn’t it?

The same bag Mindy’s carrying on the show is sold here for $19,999.00.

I’ll give you a minute to pick up your jaw, which should have dropped at least twice by now. The fashionistas can keep sipping their lattes while they wait for us to catch up.

The character Mindy plays on the show is a OB/GYN. And she’s based in New York. Okay, based on those two facts alone, it’s conceivable that the character could afford a Birkin. Or that she’d have a gang of wealthy friends who all chipped in to buy her a Birkin once she graduated from med school. It’s possible.

But where my disbelief refused to be suspended, and where the title of this blog post comes from, is the fact that she is carrying a $20,000 handbag on the subway.

 

This, my friends, is a Hermes Birkin bag. Photo courtesy Hermes Purse Forum and mindy-kaling.com

Sorry, Mindy. You can’t fool me into thinking this character is willing to carry her Birkin on the subway. Not just because of the possibility of theft. But also because someone might breathe on it, or touch it without wearing cotton gloves. That is how I would be if I had a Birkin. Maybe I’m weird like that.

Because I have nothing else to do except avoid deadlines, I presented this inconsistency to Giles and Ms. Chick for their feedback. Giles was understanding but does not have the Expensive Handbag gene which tells you taxis are the only way to travel if you are carrying a handbag that could be traded for a kidney on the black market. Ms. Chick was unaware of the Hermes Birkin’s significance, but once I educated her, she was just as horrified as I was.

Since I figure I can’t get access to Mindy Kaling to question her on the handbag choice for her character on “The Mindy Project”, I called my cousin Susie, the one who looks like Mindy Kaling, to ask her what she had to say about all of this.

“I would definitely not take it on the subway,” said Susie. “She may have not even known what it was, as the character.”

“Oh, I think she knows,” I said.

“I could see her character thinking ‘Oh it’s so cool!’ but not have any idea how much the purse is. So she just carries it everywhere. I do that. One time I got a Coach purse as a gift and I was blown away at how much it cost,” said Susie.

“Did they get it from the Coach Outlet?” I asked.

“I have no idea.”

“Okay, well, the point is, you wouldn’t take a $20,000 bag on the subway,” I said.

“Right. Love you!” she said, and hung up. Susie is a very busy woman and does not have time for long rambling phone interviews with bloggers who only blog when they are avoiding deadlines.

So Mindy, you can’t fool me and you can’t fool your doppelganger, either. We are on to your Birkin-loving ways.

*Name changed to protect her identity, though if you see a woman who looks a LOT like Mindy Kaling it’s either Mindy or my cousin.

 

Paint It Black Friday

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My dear friend Ms. Chick recently wrote a blog post about Black Friday. After reading it, I started to comment, then realized it would make for a better blog post.

Ms. Chick’s post focuses on the madness that is Black Friday sales, and how they are starting earlier and earlier each year. The discount stores such as Wal-Mart and Kmart are fond of late Thursday sales. I know people who thrive on mingling with large crowds to get their holiday shopping done. Possibly they get an adrenaline rush from the experience. As for me, I’m not a fan of shopping on Black Friday, though I admit to occasionally hanging out at malls & shopping centers the day after Thanksgiving to people watch. I’m a fiction writer, so this constitutes research.

Where I took issue, though, is with the end of her post:

It’s not like someone has a denominational difference that would prevent them from celebrating Thanksgiving.  It’s a purely secular holiday.

 

…It’s just that is whatever you are going to buy so important that you have to give up sleep and time with family/friends in order to obtain it? Not to mention possibly trample someone? And do you really need to see a movie on Thanksgiving?  Can’t you wait until the next day or watch something at home?

The holidays are a really tough time for folks who can’t be with family or friends for whatever reason, or their family is so freakin’ dysfunctional that it’s easier to be on their own. Even before Momcat died, I wasn’t a big fan of the Thanksgiving/Christmas season: I always had high expectations, only to end up feeling let down. There were several years when I made a point of doing nothing for either holiday because I wanted the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted, and with whom I wanted. There were other years in which I spent holidays with friends and those were really fun times. Again, it’s what fiction writers call research.

What it comes down to is this: I love my family and friends, and yet during the holiday season it can be so difficult for me to love them as fully as I normally would. Spending time with them can also be difficult. This has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me. Yet being alone is just as hard, because my brain loops back through all those memories of holidays gone by and lost loved ones, which makes me feel much worse. Despite all this, I try to find ways to make the holidays pleasant for myself, because dwelling on the used-to-be’s and the remember-back-when’s can be emotionally crippling. I think that’s why I love the original version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”, because of these lines:

Someday soon we all will be together

If the fates allow

Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow

For that reason, escaping to a shopping mall or movie theatre, where I can float anonymously through a sea of humanity, sounds like a good way to muddle through.