My girl T-Wizzle and I love to talk. Phone, instant messenger, e-mail, it doesn’t matter. We are always yammering. When we’re together, people will openly eavesdrop and say, “I am really enjoying listening to you two.” I don’t blame them. Our discussions range from funny to insightful to informative, and sometimes that’s all in one conversation. Here’s a sampling from the last few weeks.
T-Wizzle: You know, when you look at Justin Timberlake, he’s got a white trash face.
T-Wizzle: He’s got that long pointy nose, and that weird chin, and you can just tell what he’s going to look like when he’s old and has no teeth.
T-Wizzle: Seriously, you can tell he’s from Tennessee. But that boy can dance and sing… I can see why everyone is trying to give him some. Cameron probably lost her damn mind.
On technology and world politics:
Moxie: I want data on who’s reading my blog, but I don’t know how to get it.
T-Wizzle: What are you going to do with the data?
Moxie: Nothing really, I just want to know who’s reading me. (pause) I think I found something I can use.
T-Wizzle: What did you find?
Moxie: A site called lasturl.com. They provide a counter, and then you can log in to their site and see stats.
T-Wizzle: That’s cool. Then will you take over the world? Cause honestly, that’s what I am waiting on.
Moxie: I thought YOU were taking over the world this week. Next week it’s my turn.
T-Wizzle: Oh, well…I will go in 2 weeks cause I need to get my hair done first.
Moxie: That’s what you say every time: “Oh, I can’t take over the world this week, it will conflict with my hair appointment” or “I can’t do it this week because my hair is a mess.”
Next you’ll be telling me that you’ve changed your mind about taking over the world – that you just want a small third-world country that hasn’t been overrun by well-meaning celebrities.
T-Wizzle: Oh, umm…I meant to tell you about Burma. Paris [Hilton] won’t do it, so, I signed you up to be president. I hope that’s cool.
Moxie: Do I have to learn another language?
T-Wizzle: No, you can speak in English, and refuse to talk to or touch locals.
Moxie: Okay, I’m in.
T-Wizzle: Sweet. The only thing is you have to wear pink every day. Paris agreed to it so now we are stuck with it.
Moxie: Does this mean pink from head to toe, or just pink somewhere on my person?
T-Wizzle: Head to toe.
On public health issues:
Moxie: (watching TV) Okay, these ads for Yaz birth control are a crock. Girls talk about birth control, but they don’t say shit like, “women with a history of heart disease shouldn’t take this” and “side effects include bloating and interval bleeding”. Especially NOT at a party.
T-Wizzle: What do you mean? Internal bleeding is a common topic of convo at parties I go to. You must not be plugged in.
Moxie: Really? Well, there you go.
T-Wizzle: Yeah. Bleeding, cuts, malaria.
T-Wizzle: Sometimes, depends on the crowd.
Moxie: Hmm, good to know.
T-Wizzle: Lola is always talking about it.
Moxie: Do I know her?
T-Wizzle: well, she IS invisible, so a lot of people know her.
Moxie: That could explain why I’ve never seen her, but why the name is familiar.
T-Wizzle: Yeah, she hangs out a lot of places because it’s cheap for her to fly. And because she’s invisible, she’s super fascinated by blood.
On lunch menus:
T-Wizzle: I am trying to decide what to make for lunch. I don’t have any bread, and I’m out of salad.
Moxie: Have any veggies & cooked meat you could toss with some dressing? Like tomatoes, green beans, maybe some cheese, a little chicken?
T-Wizzle: Hmmm…no cooked meat, no cooked veggies. I run a tight ship around here.
T-Wizzle: I could make a sammich out of some cheese biscuits I have left, although that sounds slightly gross.
Moxie: Ehh, sounds boring. You need something FUN and TASTY.