Tag Archives: T-Wizzle

My Life as a Bag Lady

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About a month ago I went to the library to have my summer reading bingo card registered in their system. Just for participating they gave me a reusable bag. And for the first time I could remember, I thought, “Another freakin’ bag?!”

bag, reusable shopping bag

The bag I got from the library for participating in Summer Reading Bingo.

See, there was a time when I was all about acquiring bags. Backpacks, book bags, grocery shopping bags, tote bags, laundry bags, little bags, medium bags, casual bags, work bags, bags with a snap, bags with a zipper, bags with a bazillion pockets. I loved and wanted them all.

Now I have reached the tipping point and I am done with bags. I hope.

There is a stash in my trunk of bags for shopping. In the green bag I have five additional bags: an insulated one for frozen/refrigerated items, one with 6 compartments for carrying bottles, and three random bags.

bags, reusable shopping bag

The bags I keep in my trunk for shopping.

I use this green and white bag from Aunt Gigi’s ranch for groceries from Trader Joe’s. She likes Trader Joe’s a lot so she’ll appreciate that.

bag, reusable shopping bag, tote bag

The logo for Aunt Gigi's ranch is on the other side, but I don't think she'd like it if I showed it here. Because then people might think she's accepting visitors and conducting tours, which she is not.

There are three other bags in my trunk that aren’t being used for shopping. This bag says it’s full of emergency supplies to last for 72 hours. As you can see I am well prepared for any emergency.

bag, emergency supply kit bag, reusable bag

My emergency supply bag: empty.

My idea of an emergency is being someplace overnight and not having deodorant or a clean shirt to wear. So I have this bag (also from Aunt Gigi) that has toiletries, a couple pairs of underwear, a t-shirt and a zip-up hoodie in it.

bag, reusable shopping bag, tote bag

My not-quite-an-emergency bag, with toiletries, a few items of clothing and a pen in it.

Early last year I picked up some maps at AAA. They used to use small plastic bags you could repurpose as a garbage bag for your car. Now they are all eco-friendly with their blue reusable bags.

reusable shopping bag, tote bag

This bag is full of maps and stays in the trunk. Because that's the best place for maps when you're driving and you don't know where you're going and the GPS isn't working right.

Aunt Gigi likes to use tote bags as Christmas stockings. This red bag was one of my favorites from her: it has a top zipper and all sorts of little pockets on the inside.

Christmas, shopping bag, bags, reusable shopping bags

This red bag has lots of pockets inside and out, plus nice long handles. I often use it to haul small loads of laundry back and forth from the laundry room.

There is the purple bag I bought a few years ago because it had an OM on one side and I thought it would be a cool bag for taking to yoga. I haven’t taken a yoga class in over a year.

yoga, exercise, bags, reusable shopping bag, OM

Purple bag with OM symbol - one of the few bags I actually paid for.

There are the bags I got from Momcat’s collection. She was also a big lover of bags. The Washington Metro bag (top) has been around probably just as long – the Metro map on the bag shows the Green Line as being in progress, but it’s actually been completed for several years now. I use it for hauling laundry to Giles’ place when I don’t have enough quarters to do laundry at my building. The Smithsonian one (bottom) has been around since the early ’80s and was often used as a library book bag. I have been using it to hold the crap I am trying to sell on eBay.

Momcat, bags, reusable shopping bags, library, books, shopping

Two bags from Momcat's collection

Then there are several bags I received as a thank you for attending an event or participating in something. (Yes, that’s the bag from the library on the left. Weird how these bags are all green.)

shopping bags, bags, reusable shopping bags, giveaways, promotions

Three recent additions to my bag collection.

This Target bag was a freebie in an issue of Vanity Fair about 3 years ago. It’s made of this thin nylon so it’s good for sticking in another bag, just in case the first bag gets too full and I need another one.

Target, bags, shopping bags, reusable shopping bags

This bag is good for carrying in a purse or other bag because it folds up nicely.

But sometimes a casual canvas or nylon bag emblazoned with advertising for a product/service/vacation destination will not do. Enter the work/play bags.

backpack, work, bags, totes, play, laptop

The bags I use for carrying around my laptop and work stuff.

I got the lilac bag from Target several years ago. T-Wizzle is going to be mad when she sees this picture because it reminds her how she saw this bag in white and wanted it, but did not buy it. I don’t know why she didn’t, it was only $25 and it’s a fantastic bag. But I better shut up now before she gets even more pissed off.

The brown bag is my fall/winter work bag – I’m using it currently even though it is not quite fall here in Sacramento. I don’t know when we will actually see autumn weather, but I figure if I use the fall/winter bag, it will come. Maybe.

The backpack is for when I am schlepping around a bunch of crap in addition to my laptop and I don’t want to dislocate my shoulder carrying around the lilac or brown bag.

For those times when the big bags are too big, I have small bags.

bags, reusable shopping bags, beach bag, tote

This bag is the oldest in my collection and one of my favorites.

Aunt Olivia made this blue denim bag for me when I was in the single digits, which was twentithirtyish years ago. It’s still in great condition, aside from some fraying of the fabric on the handles. I like using it to haul around my e-reader, journal and some pens.

bag, reusable shopping bags, totes, T-Wizzle

T-Wizzle's fun design just for me, the blue-eyed badass.

Several years ago T-Wizzle was into making designs for t-shirts, tank tops and tote bags. She made this one just for me: it says Blue-Eyed BadAss and has a cartoon of a brunette with blue eyes on it. I used to use it to carry my lunch to work, back when I still worked in an office. I figured if the fridge broke and it was being cleaned out and they were trying to find out what stuff belonged to what person, I could say, “Mine’s the one that says ‘Blue-Eyed Bad Ass’.” Kind of like Jules from Pulp Fiction.

By my count, that makes 22 bags. I don’t even own that many pairs of shoes. At this rate I’m gonna get my Girl Card revoked.

If You’re Gonna Feng Shui Your House, Better Feng Shui Your Head, Too

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On Saturday night I found myself in Ms. Chick‘s bedroom.

Wait. That didn’t come out right.

See, she’s been having a dry spell with dating, and I wanted to see if I could help her out.

That still didn’t come out right. Or my mind is just constantly in the gutter.

Some background: several years ago, T-Wizzle turned me on to feng shui, the Chinese art of living in harmony with your environment. She had met and worked with Karen Rauch Carter, author of Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life, a practical, easy-to-use feng shui guide for people who don’t want to be bothered remembering a lot of details about what belongs where. I bought a copy of the book, figured out how the bagua aligned with my current apartment, and started moving my crap around. I had been having serious issues in different areas of my life and wanted to do something physical that might help change things.

feng shui, bagua, Black Hat feng shui

Basic bagua layout for your home. Image courtesy feng-shui-tips-for-wealth.com

And my life did change. I started dating, my relationships with family members improved, I made some great new friends. I found a new home for Angel, my cat who was aggressive and miserable living with me and my other cat, Mossimo. I bought a new car that I absolutely loved. I gave feng shui a lot of credit.

But the truth is, I had been feng shui-ing my head as well. I had started using affirmations and other techniques to help reset my brain to stop being so negative and cynical and nasty and being more open and compassionate and fun. And it made a huge difference. Because I’ve learned that there’s no way changes can take place in the real world until you change the way you think about the things that bother you.

I can’t sum up everything I did to feng shui my head in one blog post. But here are my basic suggestions:

  • Write down on a piece of paper what’s not working in your life. I have an old list that reads: “My love life is nonexistent. My new friendships are not as nurturing as I would like. I don’t feel motivated to write or be creative.”
  • Write down on another piece of paper what IS working. Love your job? Have a great bunch of friends? Car running beautifully? Write ‘em down.
  • Go back to the first piece of paper and consider what attitudes are behind those not-working items. The key is to make sure you stay focused on yourself. For me, my love life was nonexistent because deep down I believed I was unattractive and undesirable because I am fat. It had nothing to do with the men I was interested in or had dated in the past. It was all about me.
  • Install mental updates. Your internal self-esteem software obviously needs a bug fix, so it’s time to fix that. Write some affirmations about your inner and outer beauty, make peace with your inner child, get a close friend to help you work out your shit. I spent a lot of hours on the phone with T-Wizzle working out my shit – and in turn I helped her work out her own.
  • While you’re working on these affirmations and feeling super positive about yourself, start moving stuff around in your home. Carter’s book is a great starting point. Some folks may need a professional consult, which can be expensive but if you have the money it’s well worth it.

Back to Ms. Chick and her bedroom. She had an empty laundry basket in the Love & Relationships section. I pointed at it and said, “That needs to go, unless you want to continue having nothing happen with your lovelife.” (If it had been full of dirty laundry I still would have said she needed to move it, because then she’d be dealing with – you guessed it – guys with a lot of dirty laundry.) She moved the basket and according to a tweet I got from her tonight, things have already started shifting. But I’m willing to bet she started shifting her attitude about dating, too.

Not Quite Carrie Bradshaw Yet

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“So my editor loved the piece I wrote for October and asked me what ideas I have for the November issue.”

“That’s great!” Giles exclaims. He’s a great friend to tell good news to, because he’s genuinely happy for you. T-Wizzle is the same way, which is exactly the reason why they are my two closest friends. That, and they pour drinks with a heavy hand. Both are excellent qualities to have in a friend.

“And she asked me if I wanted to write several short items for the November issue.” I tell him the figure she quoted. He is ecstatic.

“That is wonderful!” Giles is full of exclamations today. “You want to come over for dinner later? I have chicken we can stir-fry.”

I say yes, of course, because even with all these writing assignments I’ve been racking up over the last two months I still have a fridge full of condiments and not much else. Writing for a living is great; it’s the pay-on-publication part that sucks.

I suck down a couple gallons three glasses of water to tide me over until dinner at Giles’ place. He lives just a few blocks away so we hang out together often. I go back to finishing up the first part of what will be a five- to six-week-long writing project, which I landed thanks to a friend of a friend who recommended me. It also pays very well, and there’s potential for more assignments, so that pleases me.

At 6:35 I head over to Giles’ place. He lives in a fabulous building just off Capitol Park – great views, high ceilings, fireplaces. The place has had its share of famous residents. Giles is not famous, though he knows a lot of people in town. Being involved in the media will do that.

He lets me into the lobby and we take the elevator up to his apartment. Even though it wasn’t extremely hot outside today, it was warm enough that when I open the door to his place the cool air hits me right away. It feels so cool and lovely that I want to lie down right there in the foyer. But I refrain because I am sober.

Since he just got back from walking to a nearby market, he suggests sitting down for a while with some cocktails. Never one to turn down a cocktail, I agree.

“Wow, you’re like a Lifetime movie about that woman,” he says after a swig of beer.

“What?” This is a joke he picked up from Zach Galifianakis. We say it every time we are flipping through cable channels and we pass a particularly heinous movie title such as “Mother May I Sleep with Danger?” or “Too Young to Marry.”

“In those movies the woman is always a magazine writer and she lives in this huge apartment in New York. You’re Carrie Bradshaw!”

“My apartment isn’t big enough,” I remind him. “And how in the hell did she afford that huge apartment plus $300 shoes on a writer’s salary? She was only writing for the Post. Or was it the Star?”

Giles waves his hand at me. “It was a tab, all the same thing.”

“Still, I do fantasize about having a column someday,” I confess, looking down at my now-empty wineglass. How did that happen?

“Columns aren’t what they once were,” he says. “Used to be a lot of klout saying you were a sports columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Now with blogs that doesn’t really exist – you might be one of several people contributing content.”

“It would still be cool, but I’m no Carrie Bradshaw,” I say. “I would definitely have to move to a bigger place for that to happen.” I look down at my slightly chipped home pedicure of OPI’s I’m Not Really a Waitress and my $5 Target flip-flops which have already been repaired with Super Glue once. “And I would need better footwear.”

Moxie does not live here - yet. Photo courtesy FreeCityGuides.com

From My First Breath*

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“So, does Sacramento feel like home?” T-Wizzle asked me. It was the third time she’d asked me that question in the last three months. And for the third time I couldn’t give her a clear answer.

For many years I haven’t felt a sense of home in the way that others do. I will remain longer than I should in apartments and townhouses that do not meet my needs, but I also avoid making investments in furniture until absolutely necessary. I have never hung drapes or curtains, and I have never done major remodeling. I bought a house with Mr. X but we never got around to decorating it. We didn’t build knee walls or repaint bathrooms in an attempt to make the house truly ours; we never quite made that house our home.

But I have also designed and planted a garden, much to the surprise of others – and myself, to be honest. More recently, I installed a new shower head in my apartment and, when I discovered how easy it actually was, I cursed my narrow-mindedness for not installing one in the last place I lived. I have hung pictures around the apartment and installed shelving in my kitchen to accommodate my pots and pans. Between these tasks and getting involved in the community, I do have more of a sense of home than I ever had when I was living in Southern California. In many ways my new town reminds me a lot of where I grew up on the East Coast. But it’s still not quite home.

Because while decorating a kitchen and installing shower heads can mean one considers a place to be home, I don’t believe that material goods create that feeling of home, that sense of this is where I belong. That feeling comes from something much deeper. Home is that elusive smell in the air in the town where you were born. It’s recognizing the once-vacant lot where you once played ball with your friends. It’s holding on to the belief that the world you knew at the age of five is the biggest, widest, most fabulous world that ever was, or ever will be.

Last night I was with Pops, Aunt Gigi and Uncle Roy as they found their childhood home. I listened quietly as they recounted stories from their early years: stories of dollhouses and comic books, neighborhood friends and schoolhouse bullies. I saw Roy beaming with bliss at the discovery that the  built-in milkbox he remembered playing with as a toddler was, indeed, exactly where he remembered it was.

And even though I never lived in that neighborhood or spent time in that house as a child, in that moment, I felt home, too.

This post was inspired by Kirsten’s entry for the One Word at a Time Blog Carnival, hosted by Peter Pollock.

*The title of this post comes from a line in a Depeche Mode song, “Home.”

Moxie’s Resolutions for Everyone Else: The 2011 Edition

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Holy cannoli, it’s the end of 2010 already? That can only mean one thing: it’s time to pop the cork and enjoy a glass of something bubbly while reading my 2011 resolutions for everyone else. I’ll be sitting here, sipping my Prosecco, while you read.

1. Refuse to take low paying writing gigs. (writers)

It pisses me off to see job postings where the employer, usually a blog or web portal, is paying $5 for a 500-word article and then have the audacity to expect 25-35 posts of that length per week. No wonder we have so much crap all over the Internet, because if you pay me one cent per word there is no way you’re going to get New Yorker-quality writing from me. If you want to make it as a writer and be truly challenged, stop taking piddly-ass assignments. And for the established writers who know good writing, don’t you dare let me catch you doing this.

2. Stop telling my GPS system how to do its job. (anyone who gets in my car)

Ever since I got a Garmin GPS for my birthday this year, I have had to deal with riders who argue with the navigator or who want to tell me, “Oh, I’ll tell you how to get there.” Inevitably they make the drive more difficult than if they had just let the GPS do its job. I bought the GPS for two reasons: a) I like cool gadgets; and b)I don’t have to listen to someone argue with me about the best route to take. If you don’t like GPS systems THEN DRIVE YOUR OWN DAMN CAR.

3. Shop more often at local, independently owned stores. (everyone)

Yes, there are great deals to be had at big-box stores. But the little guys really need our help right now. The 3/50 Project has an excellent solution: spend $50 a month at 3 locally owned, independent businesses. In the grand scheme of things, $50 isn’t that much – you were going to buy that book or shampoo anyway, right? So why not at a local shop? And if you’re looking for something truly unusual and fun to give as a gift, shopping in a neighborhood with several quirky little boutiques is the way to go.

4. Learn the rules of the road and follow them. (California bicycle riders)

This summer I lived in Davis, the City of Bikes, and I saw many bike riders who were very good about using hand signals (not the one where you use one finger), putting lights on their bikes when riding at night, and being respectful of cars and pedestrians. However, I also saw many bike riders who were arrogant little brats, nearly mowing me down on sidewalks (Side note: Get off the sidewalk, asshole! It’s a sideWALK, not a sideRIDE!) and ignoring stop signs and traffic lights. As soon as you put your body on top of a wheeled contraption you became a car, so behave like one. And if you aren’t sure of the rules of the road for bicycles, go study them.

5. Stop when I see a pedestrian in the crosswalk. (California drivers)

I have seen so many people plow through intersections, not even bothering to look and see if anyone is crossing the street or just beginning to cross. I have yelled curses and insults at them, but of course they can’t hear me because they are driving 45 miles an hour through a 30 zone. Having seen a pedestrian get hit by a car, I try to be particularly careful when driving through areas with a lot of foot traffic. Slow down, Speed Racer, and save your road rage for the freeway. Oh, and pedestrians, you’re not helping when you wave a car through. You’re in the crosswalk, so WALK, dammit. It’s called having the right of way.

6. Install an automated postal service center. (US Post Office on Broadway in Sacramento)

I love the automated postal service centers because they make life so much easier when I need to mail out packages and I can use the machine even if the counter is closed. Sadly my favorite local post office doesn’t have one of these machines. Please put one in, Mr. Postman! I promise I will still come to see you at the counter and crack my usual stupid jokes!

7. Hire a maid and a personal assistant. (T-Wizzle)

T-Wizzle is a brilliant woman and also extremely busy. For the last year she has been complaining about how hard it is to keep up with everything she needs to do and still have a clean house. I have repeatedly told her to hire a housekeeper but for some unknown reason she still hasn’t done it. Same with the personal assistant. So I am now resorting to calling her out on the blog in the hope she will finally hire someone and give herself a much needed break from the anxiety and frustration that comes from not having her home looking the way she wants, or from feeling overwhelmed by to-do lists.

8. Stop bothering Jesus. (Ippie the Tech Wizard Kitten)

This resolution is best explained with visual aids.

This is Jesus.

This painting is more than 60 years old and once hung in my great-grandparents’ farmhouse.

This is Ippie the Tech Wizard Kitten.

Ippie sitting on top of her scratching post. She’s a climber, that Ippie.

See the shelving unit behind Ippie? It’s currently sitting underneath where the Jesus painting is hanging in my bedroom. When Ippie is feeling rambunctious – which is damn near all the time because she is a young cat with delusions of being a monkey – she will jump onto the top shelf. When she’s feeling particularly feisty, she reaches up and starts batting at Jesus with her paws. My neighbors must be very puzzled by my shouts of “Leave Jesus alone!” and “Stop messing with Jesus!” They may even be tickled by my cries of “You can look at Jesus but you CANNOT TOUCH HIM!” I get that people would touch Jesus’ robes to be healed of their leprosy and whatnot, but this is ridiculous.

9. Cut my toenails inside my apartment. (my next door neighbor)

Twice now I have overheard this strange metallic click-click-click coming from outside my door. The first time I looked out the window to see my neighbor sitting at the top of the stairs, clipping his toenails. I was grossed out. On Christmas Eve, I heard the sound again. What is wrong with you, dude? Is your bathroom not good enough for your precious toenail clippings? And even more disgusting, it’s been over two months since I last heard you clip them – unless you took advantage of the stairs at the building across the street, that’s poor hygiene, man. Just really, really poor hygiene.

10. Put my shopping cart in the cart corral in the parking lot, or make sure it’s out of the way of other cars. (shoppers everywhere)

Few things annoy me more than finding a parking space and pulling in about 3/4 of the way, only to discover that some moron has left their empty shopping cart right at the front of the space. Actually, here’s what annoys me more: people who were obviously parked right next to the cart corral, or two spaces down, and they couldn’t be bothered to push their empty cart into the corral. Some businesses have opted not to have these cart corrals in the lots, so I can understand some of the stranded carts. But could you at least move the cart away so it’s not hitting my car? Or anyone else’s, for that matter?

What are your resolutions for other people for 2011?

When Shame Becomes Social

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T-Wizzle and I have had discussions about the idea of social shame. She gets upset that people can behave atrociously and get away with it, that there is no consequence for their actions. In the United States we don’t stone someone for cheating on their spouse, for example, and sometimes we go so far as to let them provide a litany of reasons explaining why they did what they did, or that they really didn’t do anything wrong. And if the person is lucky enough to have a team of attorneys, spokespeople and publicists on their payroll, they may never have to take personal responsibility at all. (See also: Tiger Woods, John Edwards, Bill Clinton.)

This isn’t to say that social shame doesn’t exist, however. With the rise of Facebook, Twitter, and blogs, it is quite possible to hold someone accountable for their behavior. I saw this happen yesterday. Over a 24-hour period, one writer’s experience in dealing with an editor who’d stolen her work went viral, spawning a Twitter hashtag, a catchphrase, and, for the publisher of the magazine, a publicity nightmare.

Let’s break this down step by step, including links as needed. (It’s possible I’m missing some information, or got some of the facts wrong. Please feel free to comment with any corrections.)

1. In 2005, Monica Gaudio wrote an article about the history of apple pie.

2. In 2010, the article was reprinted in Cooks Source, a cooking magazine that is available on newsstands as well as online. The article included Monica’s byline.

3. Monica contacted the editor to find out what had happened, and when it was determined the article had been lifted in complete disregard of copyright laws, Monica asked for a public apology, both on Facebook and in the print edition, and for a donation to a journalism school.

4. In an incredible display of shock and aw-hell-no-she-didn’t, the editor, Judith Griggs, rejected Monica’s request. This is just a portion of her response:

But honestly Monica, the web is considered “public domain” and you should be happy we just didn’t “lift” your whole article and put someone else’s name on it! It happens a lot, clearly more than you are aware of, especially on college campuses, and the workplace. If you took offence and are unhappy, I am sorry, but you as a professional should know that the article we used written by you was in very bad need of editing, and is much better now than was originally. Now it will work well for your portfolio. For that reason, I have a bit of a difficult time with your requests for monetary gain, albeit for such a fine (and very wealthy!) institution. We put some time into rewrites, you should compensate me! I never charge young writers for advice or rewriting poorly written pieces, and have many who write for me… ALWAYS for free!”

5. Monica writes about the experience on her blog and someone tweets a link to her blog post.

6. Within hours, the tweet is retweeted over and over again, grabbing the attention of Neil Gaiman, multiple journalists and bloggers.

7. The number of Fans on Cooks Source’s Facebook Page skyrockets to more than 4,000, mostly for the purpose of posting a nasty comment on their Wall. (I became a Fan just long enough to add my own comment.)

8. The story is picked up by Forbes, CNN, Time, MSNBC, Wired, Gawker, BoingBoing, Washington Post, LA Times, and many other sites.

As a former editor, I’m horrified and appalled by this so-called editor’s attitude. As a publicist, I’m full of empathy for the PR hacks who are swilling coffee by the gallon as they figure out how to spin this debacle to the magazine’s advantage. As a writer, I’m thrilled to see an ignorant, arrogant editor get their just desserts (pun intended). And as a social media manager, I’m reminded of how easy it is to hold a person, product or brand accountable for its actions when we allow the shame to go social.

Moxie’s Resolutions for Everyone Else: 2010 Edition

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As is the tradition on this blog for several years running, I have compiled my list of 2010 resolutions…but not for me. I am perfect and only need to resolve to have compassion for those who haven’t achieved perfection. Everyone else, however – you have a hell of a lot of work to do.

  1. Learn the value of silence. (Cell phone users) Yes, it’s tempting to get on your Droid or iPhone or Crackberry every time you’re out and there’s nothing or no one actively working to entertain you. Of course, I wouldn’t know anything about this because I’m perfect. (cough cough) There’s something to be said for having a moment of tranquility where all gadgets are off and you’re just observing the world around you. The Internet is not going anywhere, so give yourself at least five minutes every hour to just be still.
  2. Stop Christmas Creep, Valentine’s Day Invasion and Easter Edge-out. (Major retailers) Can we just enjoy holidays without being rushed to prepare for the next one? I give Nordstrom kudos for not succumbing to the Creep this Christmas.
  3. Improve my service and coverage area. (AT&T) I don’t understand this company. They want everyone to buy an iPhone, upgrade their iPhones, get any other smartphone they are selling, and yet they complain that iPhone users who stream movies and other video are screwing up the network. Their solution? Get iPhone users to use wifi as much as possible. Um, hello? How about putting the proper infrastructure in place before releasing advanced technology? Oh crap, there I go making sense again. No wonder I don’t have a job.
  4. Stop whining and be with the consequences of being famous. (Miley Cyrus and other celebs who claim to have no privacy) Get over yourselves already. As soon as you decided you wanted to be an actor or singer or professional athlete, you signed up for the possibility that you would a) make it to the big time and b) become a target for the tabloids. You don’t want this life? Go find a job in retail and shut the hell up.
  5. Find a great marketing agency that will come up with a campaign to remind people of the joy of writing – and sending – letters. (USPS) I’m trying to write more notes and letters to people. It gives me joy to think someone will open their mailbox to see a funny card, newsy note or heartfelt letter, instead of a pile of bills and junk mail. The US Postal Service is already struggling financially, so why not play up the sentimental side of letter writing/receiving and start a campaign where folks are encouraged to write one letter every 10 days? It would help improve literacy too, I’d bet.
  6. Start up Chick-Fil-A franchises in Chicago. (Chick-Fil-A) This resolution is a shout-out for T-Wizzle, who is a big fan of Chick-Fil-A and gets mad at me whenever I mention I went there for a sammich. I don’t understand why the chain hasn’t expanded into the Chicago market. They like chicken up there. And sweet tea, too.
  7. Know my limits when it comes to home repair and be humble enough to call in professional repair personnel. (my apartment management and others who DIY it) I could go on for days about all the craptastic fix-it jobs I’ve seen at my building. Pops also has a tendency to fix things in a half-assed way, but fortunately he’s learning the limits of his expertise in areas such as plumbing. Rule of thumb: If you have to use more than 6 inches of duct tape to fix something, then you don’t know what the hell you’re doing and need to call in a professional.
  8. Stop assuming that everyone over the age of 30 knows absolutely nothing about technology. (Generation Y and younger) Don’t roll your eyes at me when I ask a question about tethering or live streaming, and don’t talk to me as if I am completely ignorant about computers. If it wasn’t for my generation and the baby boomers, you wouldn’t have even had computers in your first grade classroom. Learn to appreciate your elders and what they have made possible.
  9. Stop assuming that everyone under the age of 30 is an arrogant jackass. (Generation X, baby boomers and older) Yes, this is a tough one. While Gen Y may be incredibly self-absorbed at times, they are also showing themselves to be committed to making the world a better place. Teach them the rules, then show them how to break them in a way that no one gets hurt.
  10. Break up with food additives. (Campbell’s, Kraft, and other major food manufacturers) I am tired of reading 2-inch long food labels listing all the chemicals and other crap in a can of soup. I get that you want people to be repeat buyers of your products, but can’t you do that without adding MSG, high fructose corn syrup, GMOs and other garbage? Explore new ways of making delicious food without all the extra gunk.

Any resolutions you’d like to give someone else?

Happy Birthday T-Wizzle!

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One thing I’m definitely very thankful and grateful for this year would be my friends. And the one friend who has been instrumental in getting me out of my own head is the lovely T-Wizzle. Today not only happens to be Thanksgiving, it also is her birthday. So please join me in wishing her many blessings for the year ahead…and let’s take a look at some of T-Wizzle’s favorite things.

My girl T-Wizzle loves her some technology, and this year she’s been obsessed with the new Dell Mini laptops. Last I recall, she was still drooling over them but didn’t think they were going to impact her productivity as much as she had originally fantasized. But if someone put one in her hot little hands I know she wouldn’t turn it down.


In keeping with the technology theme, let’s talk about T-Wizzle’s smartphone, the Treo 680. She loves this phone and has tricked it out with so many third-party apps and cool things that I can no longer keep track. The phone is on its last legs but because it does everything she wants it to do, T-Wizzle is having a hard time selecting the next phone worthy of her love and affection.


Another gadget much adored by T-Wizzle is her Zune MP3 player. I don’t remember which model she has, but she is a big fan of Zune products. She got particularly excited recently when she saw someone else with one, as these aren’t the most sought-after players for some reason (cough-iPod taking over the world-cough).


Lest people think she is all about the gadgets, think again. T-Wizzle is a fashion conscious young woman who also loves a great bargain. This is why I think she’s such a fan of Forever 21. I’ve gone in that store on a few occasions and I just don’t get the fascination – nor do I get the need for a clothing store to sound like a freakin’ nightclub, but whatever. I will tag along with her to Forever 21, though, if only to make sure she stays entertained while shopping.


Another fashion favorite of T-Wizzle’s is Vera Bradley, known for her vibrantly colored designs for handbags and accessories as well as home decor. The prints are really bright and fun – two words I would also use to describe T-Wizzle’s personality. I think this picture is of one of her favorite prints, Pink Melon, but I can’t be certain. I’m sure she’ll tell me later.


T-Wizzle is also a big fan of office supplies and productivity products. On the top of her list is Franklin Covey – she’s relied on their planners and software for a long time. She’s taught me a lot about goal setting based on what she learned from attending FC seminars and classes. We joke that FC is a cult and I think it’s actually true. Recently I started reading Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and realized that T-Wizzle had been quoting that book to me for years.


In the same way I’ve always been intrigued by Marie Antoinette, T-Wizzle is taken with Eva Peron. She’s read books about her, watched documentaries, and is a HUGE fan of the musical Evita. Stand back, Buenos Aires!

War of the Desserts

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T-Wizzle and I got into a heated IM discussion today, based on this tweet by Leo Laporte. She is all about cake, while I like pies much better. So we’re taking it to the streets. Vote on this here poll and remember, you like pie!


<a href="http://www.buzzdash.com/index.php?page=buzzbite&#038;BB_id=102386">Cake vs. Pie: Fight!</a> <a href="http://www.buzzdash.com">BuzzDash</a>

When You Think Your Hair Is Making a Statement, Be Sure to Issue a Press Release

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:
Mossimo Crane
mossimo@mossimothepimptasticcat.com

MARKETING GENIUS, INTUITIVE LIFE COACH CUTS HAIR
IN PROTEST OF UNFAIR CONDITIONS

Woman Asks Only for Understanding of Deeper Follicular Issues

CHICAGO – July 17, 2008 – Marketing professor and life coach T-Wizzle has sheared her locks as a way of making the world more aware of issues surrounding hair issues.

While at first troubled over the state of her newfound look, she decided that a much more pressing issue needed to be considered. “Women of color all over the world have dealt with a lack of high quality styling tools for way too long,” stated T-Wizzle. “In cutting my hair I am ensuring that the beauty industry recognizes the importance of supporting and nurturing women no matter whether their hair is long, straightened, dyed or permed.”

T-Wizzle plans on providing the media with a video diary of her experiences on her new website, www.tellmehowmyasstastesevanston.com.