Tag Archives: work

How to Really Deal with an Unemployed Person

Posted on by

Earlier today I read a post on The Awl about proper etiquette in dealing with someone who is unemployed and how to talk to them. The more I read, the more annoyed I got. “This writer obviously has no freakin’ idea what it’s like to be unemployed for longer than 3 months,” I muttered to myself. “She also has no idea what it’s like to be unemployed when you’ve already been in the workforce for at least 10 years.” I read through the comments and while some people had truly helpful comments, the others were just as clueless as the author. I sent the post to my friend Giles, who is brilliant and wise, and who also happens to be unemployed. He was just as disgusted as I was.

Since the whole point of a personal blog is to tell the world what you think, regardless of anyone else’s opinion on the subject at hand, I figured I would use my blog to publish a counter-argument to the list of do’s and don’ts provided by Ms. Georgopulos. Having spent long periods of time being unemployed and/or underemployed, I think I have a decent grasp of the subject matter.

She writes: Stop calling it funemployment.

Moxie says: Who the hell is using that term anymore?

She writes: Get them out of the house early on…Have fun when you go out together.

Moxie says: Respect their wishes and don’t make their unemployment about YOU.Yes, it’s uncomfortable to know people who aren’t working while you still have your job. But unless you were actively involved in screwing up the economy and/or forcing my employer to lay me off, I am not blaming you or holding you personally responsible for my unemployment. Are you doing something fun and you want my company? Then call me up and ask me to go with you. I know my money situation, you don’t. Let me decide if I can or want to join you.

She writes: Try to think of them when opportunities come up.

Moxie says: I’m only going to say this once, so pay attention: the ONLY time it’s okay to send along job listings from CareerBuilder, Monster or any other website is if the person you are sending it to said it was okay. I did not ask you to be my headhunter. If and when I do, trust me, I will let you know.

She writes: Consider a barter system.

Moxie says: If you’re someone I don’t know very well, I don’t want to barter with you because most of the time it smacks of pity and charity. If you want help with a DIY project at your house, ask me. If I want to do it, I will. Otherwise shut up.

She writes: Avoid asking how their day went.

Moxie says: You know what? I may be doing a hell of a lot more than you think. I have time to read, write, figure out HTML, and bring peace to the Middle East. Don’t assume my answer is going to be full of complaints and bitching, or weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

She writes: Don’t take it out on them when you’ve had a bad day.

Moxie says: If you have any semblance of intelligence, you know to avoid doing this to anyone, much less someone who doesn’t have a full-time job. If you want to vent about the moron who keeps stealing your stapler at work without getting any sort of advice in return, then preface your conversation with, “May I vent for a couple minutes?” T-Wizzle and I do this with each other and it works beautifully.

She writes: Don’t shrug off their weird habits.

Moxie says: I don’t even know what this means. What business is it of yours if I’m constantly muttering to myself? I could be working out peace treaties with the PLO by talking them out – how the hell would you know? You’re too busy bitching about your missing stapler at the office.

She writes: Keep in touch during the day.

Moxie says: Just because I don’t have a job doesn’t mean I want to hear from your sorry ass 24-7. And this suggestion from the article’s author is extremely insulting:

Maybe even forward them “classified” emails from work that illustrate how B-O-R-I-N-G the 9-to-5 is. “Just got an email from HR about keeping the office kitchen clean—again! I bet you’re at home doing something really creative or on the verge of doing so! Miss you!” Forward. That’s all.

NO. Do not do this. Because while you think you’re being cute by pointing out how silly the corporate lifestyle is, you are subtly suggesting you are better than the person receiving this message because you have to put up with it. If we want to be reminded of how wackadoodle corporations can be, we can watch reruns of “The Office.”

Back in the Blogging Groove – Well, for an Hour, Anyway

Posted on by

It’s been about a month since I updated the blog with any news on my life, and people are starting to ask questions. Now that I’m comfortably ensconced at Starbucks with a vanilla latte and a company laptop (more on that in a moment), I feel inspired to post again.

Work: I am still enjoying my job immensely, even when it makes me nutty. The drama that comes up is manageable and often quite humorous. One of my clients is about to launch a website, and setting up demos and interviews has been fun yet challenging. In the process I’ve learned a lot from my boss about the art of delicately negotiating coverage and handling excitable clients who want results yesterday.

I now have an account coordinator that reports to me. Learning how to be middle management without being a micromanaging tool has also been challenging. For years I wanted to be a manager and now that I’m in that role, I find management to be way overrated. Not only do I have to do my work, I have to make sure that she’s keeping busy, understands her tasks and deadlines, etc. It’s more than a notion.

Several of my colleagues read the blog now, and I’m realizing even more how I need to be very clear on what I’m willing to blog and what I need to keep to myself. It’s in my nature to be an open book, so self-editing feels somewhat unnatural. I keep reminding myself that if I can’t say it out loud, I’m not allowed to blog about it.

That being said, there’s a lot of venting and bitching I’d like to do publicly but I don’t want to offend anyone or get myself into trouble. Mainly my venting has to do with generational differences in work ethic, attitude and overall outlook on life. I remember behaving the same way as my younger colleagues not so long ago, so it’s easier to be empathetic and realize they will have to get some hard knocks before it’s clear as to what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t. At times, though, I want to call up former employers and supervisors and apologize for being such an arrogant little shit.

Life: My long commute and work hours sometimes render me comatose. Yesterday it wasn’t until 7 p.m. that I finally got showered and dressed. I’m recognizing more and more the necessity of work/life balance, and I’m looking more into what technology I can use to help me achieve some balance (more on that in a minute). I also have an order in for some liquid vitamin supplement thingy so that may help too. I try to get out and socialize with friends and attend Meetups as much as I can without overtaxing myself, and I’ve been forcing myself to get away from my desk for at least 30 minutes at lunchtime, just so I have a chance to clear my head and decompress.

Love: For the past few months, I’ve been spending time with Peter*, a warm, funny, kind man who has been very patient with me and my occasional bouts of mistrust and panic over “where is this going???” He reads the blog and provides commentary to me, and questions the need for blogs in general. Sometimes that makes my head explode, but for the most part I am amused by his comments. I enjoy his company and do my best to respect his privacy, so you won’t see much about him on the blog.

Technology: As part of my ongoing attempt to feel balanced between life and work, I’m embracing a bit more convergence in my technology. I’m borrowing a laptop from work – an IBM Thinkpad that is actually quite fast and uses XP, thank god – and I just bought a first-generation iPhone from a friend who upgraded to the 3G model. I’ve set up accounts with I Want Sandy, the virtual personal assistant who sends you email, text message and Twitter reminders when you have crap to get done; Zenbe, a web-based email aggregator; and FriendFeed, a service that makes it easy to track all my social networks. I just picked up a new SIM card from AT&T prior to coming to Starbucks, so here’s hoping that the process of getting the iPhone fired up and working goes smoothly. I do need to update the Technology/Moxie scoreboard as there have been some amusing incidents recently.

I’ve got a few web things in the works…a new blog, an upgrade to Girl with Moxie, and some other fun stuff. So stay tuned and follow me on Twitter if you’re so inclined.

My Life in PR

Posted on by

I’ve now gotten two months under my belt at the new PR job, and the verdict is in: I was born to do publicity.

Based on what I know about the responsibilities associated with working in public relations, I figure I’ve had the requisite experience all my life. Let’s break it down:

  • Knowledge of media outlets: I’ve been reading since I was three and watching TV just as long. I remember all sorts of crazy shit about TV shows, movies, magazines, books, you name it. If there’s a pop culture angle, I’m on it.
  • Ability to connect with people: I connect with people constantly – on the bus/train, in the grocery store, in Target, at Starbucks. I am always yammering about something.
  • Excellent oral skills: If my marathon phone and IM conversations with T-Wizzle are any indication of my chattiness, then yeah, I got skills.
  • Writing skills: I’ve been writing since I could hold a pen. I’ve written soap operas for my Barbie dolls (which gets interesting when you have at least 6 Barbies and only 2 Kens), poems, short stories, feature articles, product reviews, a nearly completed screenplay (I think that is the law in LA County: everyone must have at least one script in progress). You get the point.
  • Quick thinking: T-Wizzle pointed out recently that I keep trying to portray myself as a slow, methodical thinker, but that I’m much more snappy and spontaneous. She’s right – I am a quick-thinking kind of girl. Give me a latte and I can cogitate at Mach 10 speeds.
  • Crisis management: In junior high, a friend and I cleaned up some graffiti in the girls’ bathroom – not because we did it, but because the vice principal had insisted we would have to use the kindergarteners’ bathroom until someone fessed up. I got angry and impatient, convinced my friend to help, and within a couple days we got our bathroom privileges back. Then in high school, a huge waterbug appeared in the girls’ locker room after P.E. I looked up to see that everyone had left the room. I assessed the bug, stepped on it, then yelled, “It’s dead, you can come back now.” The girls filed back in as if nothing had happened.

This job has stretched me and challenged me in ways I could have never expected, and yet it all comes pretty easily once I stop thinking, “Oh crap, can I do this?” I’ve never worked harder, and I’ve never felt better about my achievements. I have a sense of ownership that I never had working for magazines. I can put my inner rebel to work by taking on a challenge to get coverage in a particular outlet – and believe me, I’ve set some big goals for myself. Already I’ve gotten some pretty sweet placements for my clients, which makes my boss happy and makes me feel like King Kong. I don’t mind working on projects during my off-hours – I don’t do it all the time, but when it’s in my flow, I actually enjoy it.

I work with several interns that are fresh out of college. Working with them has been a learning experience as I attempt to put aside my judgments about Generation Y. They occasionally look to me at times for guidance, and one intern asked me if I’d be her mentor. In my head I feel as young and inexperienced and fresh as they appear to me, so it’s still a little bit of a shock to have them ask for help, work assignments or general advice on life. In other moments I hear them carry on about relationships, financial struggles and other drama, and I want to tell them, “You’re young, don’t sweat this.” But I shut up as much as possible, because I know the only way they will figure it all out is through personal experience.

So there it is: I found my calling, and it’s in PR. Sometimes I feel a little sad that it took me so freakin’ long to get here, but the reality is that I needed to go through all my other work experiences in order to truly be ready for this role. And ultimately, I can be with that.

My Last Day of "Freelancing"

Posted on by

Tomorrow I start my new job, and while I’m excited about this plot twist, I’m also going to miss the laziness of my days “freelancing” from home. The quotation marks are because I wasn’t the most diligent freelancer – sure, I had a few assignments, but not enough to keep up the lifestyle I would like. Gotta go be a grown-up now, or at least look like one.

Here’s a rundown of what I have done so far today (times are approximate):

5:23 a.m. – Wake up and squint at the clock across the room, then go back to sleep.
8:47 a.m. – Wake up again and try to remember dreams. Wonder where Mossimo is and why he won’t sleep on the bed. Think about past weekend and grin like an idiot.
9:00 a.m. – Get out of bed.
9:02 a.m. – Find Mossimo in living room and a small dried puddle of cat barf. Look around for more cat barf and feel glad not to find any, but wonder if maybe it’s under the bed. Get grossed out but still stop looking for cat barf.
9:05 a.m. – Pour food into Mossimo’s bowl and listen to him meow his needs. Wonder for the millionth time why he has been so clingy the past few weeks, and chalk it up to missing the constant boy energy that Joe provided.
9:08 a.m. – Sit in front of computer and begin checking e-mail, blogs, and other websites. Push Mossimo off leg and tell him NO CLAWS.
9:17 a.m. – Go to bathroom. Think again about past weekend and grin some more.
9:20 a.m. – Pull on sweater and make bed. Consider buying new blanket to replace ancient, ratty one that has the silky edging I love. Decide to be open to buying new blanket but still keep ratty one in closet.
9:47 a.m. – Go back to sitting at computer. Push Mossimo off leg again, then pick him up for a few minutes while reading advice columns and My Yahoo page. See T-Wizzle on messenger program and wonder if class is over early.
9:52 a.m. – Put down Mossimo on couch, knowing full well he is pissed at being put down. Get pizza out of fridge. Grab slice and put mustard on pepperoni slices, just like T-Wizzle taught me. Wonder if other people besides me, T-Wizzle, and her dad actually put mustard on pepperoni pizza.
9:57 a.m. – Get second slice of pizza, then put away box. Think again about weekend.
10:04 a.m. – Decide to have some root beer, wondering if it’s inappropriate to have root beer before noon on a weekday. Decide I don’t care and proceed to pour glass. Wonder why root beer gets so foamy. Add ice to glass and grab straw.
10:07 a.m. – Catch up on Bad Tempered Zombie, Gifted Typist, and Arjewtino blogs. Get annoyed that there isn’t anything new yet on Cup of Coffey. Marvel again at the wittiness of my favorite bloggers. Fantasize about meeting them in person and having cocktails.
10:10 a.m. – Read horoscope for day and check weather. Fantasize about new clothes I will buy for work, play, and social engagments.
10:21 a.m. – Send message to T-Wizzle and ask about class. When she says they worked on group projects, ask if she circled the room like Tim Gunn ["Project Runway" mentor] or Tom Colicchio ["Top Chef" mentor], offering sage advice and “make it work”-type comments.
10:26 a.m. – Briefly discuss T-Wizzle’s personal challenges and tell her she has my full support. Feel glad that I have such an awesome best friend, even if we are geographically challenged.
10:31 a.m. – Push Mossimo’s paws off leg and say NO CLAWS. Refuse to hold him.
10:35 a.m. – Decide that a carpool to LA is in definite need of manifesting until I can manifest a place to live in LA that is close to work. Get excited over living in LA. Think again about last weekend and grin.
10:41 a.m. – Consider what needs to be done today and what can be put off. Think about doing taxes and groan. Continue to surf Internet while drinking root beer and talking to T-Wizzle.
11:04 a.m. – Offer to mail a tiara to T-Wizzle to help her believe in her fabulousness. When she refuses, attempt Jedi mind trick. Get disappointed when it doesn’t work and she changes the subject.
11:06 a.m. – Open door for loudly meowing Mossimo and let him go outside.
11:12 a.m. – Look out window and wonder where Mossimo went. Put on flip-flops and go outside to find him lying by the mailboxes, purring and enjoying the sunshine. Laugh at all the pollen and dirt in his fur and attempt to brush some off. Head back inside.
11:17 a.m. – Look up how to spell Tom Colicchio’s last name. Consider his sexiness and wonder if he’s single. Decide not to ruin the fantasy by looking to see if he is married.
11:21 a.m. – Hear loud meowing and discover that Mossimo is back inside. Ask him if he enjoyed himself and get a meow in response.
11:33 a.m. – Realize that real-time blogging is hard when you are a perfectionist about your words. Decide this may be a one-time exercise.
11:45 a.m. – Discuss Twitter with T-Wizzle as a tool for staying connected. Remember that Twitter was mentioned in job interview and wonder again how it could be used for PR efforts. File in back of head for later use.
11:57 a.m. – Let Mossimo go back outside in response to his scratching on the screen door. Look at the cigarette butts on the ground and get annoyed with neighbors who don’t clean up after themselves.
12:14 a.m. – Remember that it is time to do a Tarot reading for the month of April, where I pull one card for each week and one card as an overview for the month. Wonder if the reading will be positive.
12:16 a.m. – Decide to stop real-time blogging and do something else.