For the last 7-plus years, I declare my personal independence from something on July 4. One year it was “being defined by my job”; in 2003 it was “seeing myself as anything but beautiful, sexy, intelligent and worthy of prosperity and abundance in all aspects of my life” and “situations and people I have released” [had to look that one up in an old journal]. Since I haven’t always been very diligent about writing down my declarations, this year I decided to blog my independence. I’ve paraphrased the actual text from the Declaration of Independence, which I got from this site.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for a person to dissolve the bonds that tie them down and keep them small and unfulfilled. In an attempt to pay a decent respect to the opinions of others, a person should declare the reasons why they need to break these ties.
Some truths are self-evident: everyone is created equal, and everyone has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Some truths, however, are not so obvious. It is these unconscious truths that tend to limit one’s capacity to connect with others effectively.
Now, whenever attempts to suppress personal truths becomes self-destructive, it is the right of the individual to bring those truths to light. Common sense dictates that one shouldn’t make other people responsible for these personal truths, forcing them to carry a burden that really isn’t theirs.
Such has been the long-suffering of me, Moxie, and such is now the necessity which requires me to change my way of communicating with the world. My personal history shows that I have been holding back some key truths. To prove this, here are the facts I submit to an open, receptive audience:
- I was fired in early December 2006. Since that time, I haven’t been “working from home” as I kept telling people I was doing. I have been sitting on my ass, doing nothing except collecting unemployment, surfing the Internet, eating, sleeping, and going out occasionally.
- I am grieving over the loss of my job. While I hated it for a long time (I was there for close to 3 years), I am ashamed and embarrassed that I let my relationship with my boss get so bad that it could not be repaired. I am ashamed that I let the quality of my work deteriorate.
- I don’t want to work in an office again. I hate the idea of having to be someplace 40 hours or more a week. But I’m scared that freelancing, which I’ve started doing, will not be enough to pay the bills.
- I am living with my boyfriend. He moved in soon after we started seeing each other. I’m embarrassed to admit this to my family because I am afraid of them judging me, saying that I’ve moved too fast.
- I am struggling to accept the fact that my boyfriend is an ex-con who will be off parole in a month. I finally admitted this truth to my mom 2 days ago, and she handled it fairly well. But I am still not completely at peace with it.
- I am struggling to accept that my boyfriend is an addictive personality. He has a history of using illegal drugs and has gotten rip-roaring drunk in my presence on several occasions. He’s not abusive to me in any way, and he holds down a good job, so it’s hard for me to be clear with my boundaries regarding his behavior. My fear is that I am an enabler.
- I am afraid of bringing my A-game, whether it’s as a writer/editor, a girlfriend, a daughter, a friend, a human being.
Therefore, I, Moxie, solemnly publish and declare, that I am, and of right ought to be, living a life of truth and integrity. I am absolved from all allegiance to being unexpressed and unfulfilled. As a free and independent woman, I have full power to express my truth, love and be loved, set my boundaries, establish myself as a prosperous and abundant writer of humor, opinion, and other things that amuse me, and to do anything else I damn well please as long as I don’t hurt myself or anyone else.
And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, I pledge to myself and my loved ones and readers my commitment to the truth in all things.
*Oh, and for those who don’t already know, my real name is Corinne.
6 Replies to “Declaring My Independence”
Wow. What an awesome, brave statement. Fireworks were going off in my head as I read it.
As your friend, I totally support your declaration.
A great writer’s first obligation is to write the truth, no matter how difficult that is. It seems to me you raised the bar in your writing today.
This? Was awesome. And if ever you need to talk about the grief, I’m here. And? As a friend, you’ve always brought your A-Game.
You certainly brought your A-game to your blog today! It is a great step forward to face difficult or seemingly ugly truths, when in fact they are only ugly when they are hidden in the dark. They can still be difficult though, so I wish you lots of strength in continuing to deal with the things that plague your mind. You are a star. p.s. coming back home for a few weeks, look forward to catching up.
I am so in awe of your courage, because it takes courage to write what you did. I’ve been fired in the past, and it’s such a horrible thing to have to admit to your friends. I also once moved in with my beau very early, and wouldn’t admit it to my parents for months. Actually, I never really admitted it; it just sort of was after a while.
I’d love to be friends with you, Moxie. And I love this post. May I steal the idea next July 4?
I am stunned. As we have been talking about for month, transparency is required for growth but it’s hard as hell. I am proud of you for being willing to do it and encouraged to do more of it in my life.
Well, I’m not going to judge you, even though I’m family. 🙂
I’ll just wish you happiness and peace.
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