I had a feeling that several 7-plus days in a row meant a crash was coming, and sure enough, today was pretty craptacular. Client issues, my living situation and financial stressors compounded to make me extra agitated and irritable…which leads me to something I’ve been meaning to discuss: anger. Many people may not realize that anger is closely tied to depression. I’ve heard it said that depression is anger turned inwards, and that makes perfect sense to me: at the core of all my negative self-talk and beliefs is a profound, rarely expressed anger. Sometimes it’s a flicker, a match that’s barely lit; other times it is a conflagration threatening to consume everything in its path. When I’m financially able to get back into therapy, it’s something I want to address, as the anger is the most challenging part of my depressive episodes.
Today I dealt with my anger by journaling, venting to a few trusted friends, and getting outside for a bit. The day’s not over yet, though, and I just want to lay low until bedtime.
Today is a 4 out of 10.