Like most women, I have a list of male celebrities that I find very handsome and boink-worthy. For some reason I tend to forget who gets me all ferhoodled, but lately I’ve had conversations with other women about my “Top Five” and it’s forced me to pay closer attention. Beth is pretty good at keeping her celebrity boyfriends list updated, so I guess there’s no reason why I can’t post mine. With very sexy accompanying photos, of course.
Chris Nunez is at the top of my list and it’s all Joe’s fault. He likes to watch “Miami Ink”, a reality show about a tattoo shop owned by Chris and fellow tatted hottie Ami James. When Chris is on screen, I get all giggly and can’t stop grinning. Interestingly enough, Joe looks a little like Chris, which works out to his favor as well as mine. What is it about tattooed Latino men with nice arms and pecs that gets me all goofy? Actually, who freakin’ cares?
Jon Hamm is a close second. I couldn’t find a decent picture of him as Don Draper, the successful, sexy, and mysterious advertising executive on “Mad Men”, so you’ll just have to watch the show to see how yummy he actually is. Apparently he’s been around for a while, doing work on “The Division”, “The Unit”, and some other short-lived TV series. His character on “Mad Men” makes me wish that all men dressed in well-cut dark suits and drank whiskey on the rocks. Whew.
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I have a weakness for men that can sing and dance. That being said, I love Hugh as Wolverine in the X-Men movies, all buff and growly and tough. I also loved him in The Fountain, a very existential metaphysical flick about love, time, and transcendence. And don’t get me started on The Prestige, which featured not only him but Christian Bale, another fine looking man that nearly made my Top 5.
I’m still a little sad that Clive Owen did not get asked to play James Bond, even though I’m very happy with Daniel Craig as 007. I loved Clive in Closer and Croupier, but I didn’t really like Children of Men – the plot was too gloomy and way too plausible for me to really enjoy the movie – but watching him is always a treat. I’d like to see Shoot ‘Em Up if just to see Clive with the very lovely Monica Bellucci. Who doesn’t enjoy watching beautiful people make out with each other?
Julian McMahon tends to play major assholes, but he’s so delicious in his villainy that I can’t help but drool. I first noticed him as Cole/Balthazar on “Charmed”, then moved on to watch him play the lusty plastic surgeon Christian Troy on “Nip/Tuck”. I love how nearly every episode includes some crazy sex scene between Christian and a patient. These scenes invariably include Christian’s bare ass. Nice buns, Doc!
Not only does Daniel Craig make a yummy James Bond, he also seems like a really nice guy. I also love the fact that he found out he would be the new 007 while shooting The Invasion in Baltimore, my old stomping grounds. He’s a little craggy and beaten-up looking (imperfection is rather sexy to me), he cleans up real nice, and he has that awesome accent. Lord have mercy.
His role as King Leonidas in 300 put him smack-dab in the middle of my radar. Could it be that watching him in IMAX, on a 7-story-high movie screen, stunned me into submission? Possibly. The fact remains that he is a fine man with a fun Scottish accent. Yeah, I love accents. Is it obvious?
I have been smitten with Christian Bale since I saw him in American Psycho, all buff and smeared in blood. Gross, I know, but damn, he was fine. T-Wizzle and I went to see Batman Begins and at one point she turned to me and said, “I totally want to have sex with him.” Get in line, sister. I have relegated him to the runners-up list because if I don’t, my friend Violet will choke me, as he’s at the top of her celebrity boyfriend list.
Hall of Fame:
Oh, George. You had me at “Roseanne”, with your awful haircut and cheesy lines. Then there was “ER”, with your idealistic pediatrician desperately in love with a nurse. The kicker, though, was your roles in Out of Sight, Ocean’s 11-12-13, and O Brother Where Art Thou? Not only that, you seem like you’d be the perfect host: funny, friendly, and thought-provoking, with an awesome selection of wine and liquor and a great personal chef. I’m free next month to come stay at the house in Lake Como, by the way. And I won’t demand sex in return. Honest.