I celebrated a birthday this weekend. It wasn’t a milestone birthday, so I didn’t plan any big celebrations – instead, I stayed home and continued to focus on getting better after a nasty bout of the flu, which I like to think of as the zombie virus from Hades.

I made the comment to a friend that after picking up cough syrup at the pharmacy I felt as if I were six years old, and it got me thinking: what would a six year old do on her birthday? Here’s what I came up with:

How to Party Like You’re Six Years Old

Starring Moxie, Ippie and Rooney

party, birthday, cat ears, leopard print cat ears — Every good party must include some sort of hat. I put on my cat ears.

birthday, party, cat ears, leopard print cat ears — They fit perfectly. Now it’s time to party.

Pick up the cat to show off to your friends how much she loves you.

cat, Ippie, birthday, party — My kitty cat Ippie is so pretty and soft!

When she meows in irritation from how you’re holding her and squirms out of your arms, act like you totally meant to put her down anyway, because you have to go take your cough medicine now.

icky medicine — I don’t want to take my medicine right now.

Because you’re grown, you can put your cough medicine in a shot glass. But because you are grown, you also know that the medicine delivery method will not make the medicine taste any better.

It smells funny. I don't want to take it. — It smells funny. I don’t want to take it.

cough medicine, medicine, taste — That medicine was gross. I want to scrape it off my tongue.

Because you are grown, you can have a chaser after your medicine.

cough medicine, medicine, root beer, taste — I’m gonna drink some root beer to get the taste of icky medicine out of my mouth.

root beer, birthday, party — Mmmm, root beer makes everything better.

Show off the birthday card you got in the mail from your grandma. She sent you a letter, too, but you’ll read that later.

birthday, party, birthday card, grandma — I got a card and a bookmark from my grandma!

Now it’s time to have one, JUST ONE, of your birthday cupcakes. Because you are grown, you picked them out and purchased them yourself at the neighborhood gluten-free bakery. You’re not supposed to eat gluten anymore because it makes your stomach hurt, but sometimes you still do it when no one’s watching.

birthday, party, cupcakes, gluten free cupcakes — I have TWO cupcakes! One is blueberry vanilla and the other is chocolate.

blueberry, vanilla, cupcake, gluten free, birthday, party — I am going to eat my blueberry vanilla cupcake first.

blueberry, vanilla, cupcake, gluten free — It’s really good! I like it!

Now it’s time for some party activities. You break out the coloring book and crayons because coloring is fun and you’re really good at it.

crayon, coloring, coloring book, birthday, party — I need the right color crayon for Cinderella’s hair. I think goldenrod would work.

coloring, crayons, coloring book, concentrating — Sometimes when I’m concentrating real hard I stick out my tongue. It helps a lot when I’m trying to stay inside the lines.

Rooney, cat, coloring, crayons, coloring book — Rooney kitty jumped up where I was coloring and made me mess up!

crying, Rooney, cat, coloring, crayons, coloring book — I didn’t want to mess up my picture! I was coloring it for YOU!

pouting, pout, birthday, party — I’m going to pout now.

When you really were six, Jennifer McCloskey would steal the gold and silver crayons because she said they were real and you and her little brother & sister weren’t worthy of using them. She left you with copper, and even though you were only six years old, you still knew copper wasn’t worth crap. Because you are grown now, you use the gold and silver crayons WHENEVER YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE.

gold crayon, silver crayon, crayons, coloring — I have the gold and silver crayons, Jennifer. So nyah nyah nyah.

Ippie, cat, crayons, coloring, coloring book — Now Ippie wants to mess with my crayons.

You get a surprise phone call from your best friend Deena who couldn’t make it to your party. Because she is grown, she is in Atlantic City with her boyfriend.